Kestra tried again to get away, but I continued to hold her, even as everything within me crumbled apart.
“Lady Kestra was under orders directly from Lord Endrick,” an Ironheart said. “She failed, so he is calling her back to face her punishment.”
Kestra went still, and suddenly, her odd behavior that ended our kiss made sense. She said she would not hurt me. Those had been her orders, and in anticipation of her disobedience, these soldiers had come for her. But how did they know she was here?
“What sort of evil man uses a sixteen-year-old girl to carry out his orders?” Tillie’s question was immediately answered with something that caused her to cry out.
Tears streamed down my face, but if I went in, hoping to save her, they’d kill us both and then find Kestra out here.
If I didn’t go, I’d never forgive myself.
I whispered into Kestra’s ear, “You get on the nearest horse and you run away as fast and far as you can.”
She shook her head, but this time I released her, then stood and withdrew my knife. No sooner had I done so before the soldier said, “We’ll find her without your help.”
Another cry of pain followed, a final cry punctuated with the slashing sound of one of their swords. I heard my mother’s body slump to the ground.
And I fell back to my knees, wanting to scream out every emotion exploding within me, wanting to run into the home and do my worst against every man in there. With only a knife and a weakened body, I knew I was capable of slaughtering them all.
Kestra was kneeling beside me now, maybe crying too, maybe holding me as I silently sobbed, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t look at her, I couldn’t.
I choked on my sorrow until I almost couldn’t breathe and funneled that sadness into anger at everything and everyone around me. At Gabe, who was supposed to have been watching for this very danger. At the soldiers who had come here searching for Kestra.
At Kestra.
If she hadn’t left, I’d have been at home to defend it. If she hadn’t poisoned me, I would not have had to defend it. If she were anyone else, they’d never have come in the first place. This was her fault.
No, it was my fault. I’d chosen the life of the Infidante over the life of my own mother.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I shook off Kestra’s arm. I didn’t want her touching me or comforting me. I didn’t want her here, reminding me of what I’d just lost, and why.
In the bitter, awful silence that lay around us, I heard the crunch of autumn leaves.
“It’s not much, but it’ll have to do!” That was Gabe’s voice, returning from his hunt, calling into the home. Returning from the end of the house, opposite where the prison wagon was parked and the oropods waited. He wouldn’t see them. He wouldn’t know what was awaiting him inside.
Kestra stood, intending to warn Gabe, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me, as we’d been before. I felt the tears on her cheeks and wiped at mine. When she continued fighting, I whispered, “They’re here to kill you.”
“It’s supposed to be me,” she whispered. “Not you, or Tillie. Not Gabe.”
He was next.
A scuffle sounded in the home, and by Gabe’s shout of alarm, I knew he’d been caught off guard and that the soldiers had just attacked him too.
“We’re looking for Kestra Dallisor,” one of the soldiers said. “We know she’s with you.”
“She was,” Gabe said, quick to respond. “But she escaped this morning.” That was followed by a hit so hard that I heard it—and Gabe’s grunt of pain—from outside. Kestra shuddered within my arms.
“Lies!” an Ironheart said. “Your next one will come with a real punishment.”
My gut knotted again, as awful as before. My knife had fallen somewhere on the ground near me, but I felt around in the darkness and couldn’t find it.
“Where is Kestra Dallisor?” one of the men asked.
“She isn’t—oh!”
I wasn’t sure what they’d done, but it sounded as if Gabe had fallen to the floor. Then they kicked him, each strike eliciting a grunt or cry. I knew firsthand that kicks from an Ironheart’s boot were merciless.