I thought about it. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"If we don't have to play human," Micah said, "we're very touchy-feely, and we tend to wear our emotions out."
Zerbrowski grinned. "Damn, that must have been an adjustment for you, Anita."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're like most cops I know - you stuff your emotions. Does this mean if the boyfriends aren't around at a crime scene some night, I can look forward to you hanging all over me?"
"You wish," I said, and smiled at him. I patted Nathaniel's arm and took a step forward. He let me draw a little farther away from him, but kept my hand. I understood the need to touch and be touched. It wasn't just the normal lycanthropy stuff. I wanted to hug Peter as if he were a little boy, and tell him it would all be all right, but it was a lie. Even if he'd been a little boy, it would still have been a lie. I couldn't promise him anything.
"That's an awful serious face for a woman who just got a hug from her sweetie."
"I'm thinking about Peter."
"Yeah, you got cut up trying to save him."
I fought to keep my face neutral. If we were going to change the story for the police, then Edward should have told me. That he didn't tell me the "official" version, and I hadn't asked, said just how distracted the two of us were. Not good.
"You saved his life, Anita. That's the best you could do," Zerbrowski said.
I nodded, and went for a hug from Micah, partially to hide my face, because I still couldn't quite figure out how to look. My guilt was because Peter had gotten cut up saving me. He wouldn't even get credit for it from the cops. That seemed like insult to injury.
Micah kissed the side of my face and whispered, "Edward didn't tell you the official version?"
"No," I whispered back.
Micah spoke with me still in his arms. "I think Anita also blames herself because she was already hunting the vampires. She thinks they might not have reacted so violently if they hadn't known she was on their trail."
I turned, still half in Micah's arms. "When a person knows that they're being tracked by someone who can kill them on sight, Zerbrowski, what options does that leave them?"
"Are you saying you disagree with the execution order?" he asked.
"No, not in this case, but there are nights when I wish I had an option that was less than lethal force. I'd love someone to do a study and see if the vampires get more violent in trying to stay alive than in the crimes they were originally condemned for."
"Have you had that happen?" Zerbrowski asked.
"No, no, I guess I haven't. Most of them would have kept killing if we hadn't stopped them. But, still, the vamp we're hunting framed a vampire from the Church of Eternal Life. She helped frame two of them. If I had just followed the trail they mapped out for us, I'd have killed two innocent people."
"Isn't this the second time you've had the bad vampires frame the good vampires and try to use you as a murder weapon?"
"Yes," I said, "it is, and if it's happening to me, then it may be happening to other vampire executioners. But they may not be looking beyond the obvious."
"You mean because they aren't up close and personal with the vampires, they just accept that a good vampire is a dead vampire."
"Yeah."
Zerbrowski frowned at me. "Dolph isn't the only one who thinks you living with the..." - he made a vague gesture at Nathaniel and Micah - "compromises your ability to do your job. But I don't think it does; I think it makes you look at the vampires and shapeshifters the way the law says we're supposed to now. They're supposed to be legal citizens, people, and you see them that way. It's what makes it harder and harder for you to kill them, but it makes you a better cop. You look for the truth, catch the real bad guy, punish the guilty. The other executioners kill who they're told to kill. It makes them good killers, but I'm not sure what good cops they are."
It was a long speech for Zerbrowski. "You've put some thought into this."
He actually looked embarrassed. "I guess I have. I spend a lot of time defending your honor with the other cops."
"I can defend my own honor," I said.
He grinned again. "No, you can't. You can't explain that you see the monsters as people without implying that the bigoted bastard that just said the stupid thing doesn't see them as people. I can get away with it. I'm Zerbrowski, I can say a lot of shit and not make people mad. I go for the funny bone, you go for the jugular. It makes people pissy."
"He really does know you well," Micah said.
I drew away enough to look back at him. "What the hell does that mean?"
He grinned at me. I found Nathaniel fighting not to grin. They were all grinning at me. "What?"
My cell phone rang, and then I realized I didn't have it on me. It rang again, and it was the ring tone that Nathaniel had picked for my phone when I said I didn't care. It was "Wild Boys" by Duran Duran. I'd remember to care next time he asked. Micah fished the phone out of his pocket and handed it to me.
I didn't have time to ask when he'd picked up my phone. I just answered it. "Hello."
A male voice said, "I do not have much time." The voice was familiar, but it was a strange monotone that made it sound like someone I should recognize and a stranger all at the same time. "The Harlequin are at my church."
I started walking down the hallway away from everyone else. It was Zerbrowski I didn't want to overhear, not until I knew that I wanted the police to know. "Malcolm, is this you?"
The voice continued as if I hadn't spoken, "Columbine says she will blood-oath my congregation or she will battle me with vampire powers, for it is not illegal for a vampire to use vampire wiles on another vampire. She claims to have done nothing illegal in our country. She blames all crime on her dead partner. I cannot win against her, Anita, but I can give my congregation to Jean-Claude. Blood-oath them any way you like, but save them from the madness I sense in these two, Columbine and Giovanni. Give me permission to tell them they must duel Jean-Claude for these vampires, and not me."
"Malcolm, is this you?"
The voice changed, holding fear. "What's happening? Who is this?"
"Avery, Avery Seabrook?" I made it a question, though I was almost a hundred percent certain it was him. I could see his gentle brown eyes, the short hair, that young, unfinished face. He was in his twenties, but tasted too innocent for comfort.
"Anita, is that you?"
"It's me. What happened? What's happening right now?"
"Malcolm touched me and I don't remember what happened next. I just sort of woke up on my cell phone in the back of the church." His voice dropped to a whisper. "There are masked vampires here. I don't know them. Malcolm seems afraid of them."
"You're blood-oathed to Jean-Claude, they can't hold you."
"What is going on, Anita?"
What was I supposed to say, You're such a weak vamp that Malcolm mind-fucked you like you were a human? He sounded scared enough without me making him feel weaker. "Malcolm sent me a message."
"What?" Then there was noise on the other end. I heard Avery's voice, a little distant, as if he'd taken the phone from his mouth to talk to someone there.
"Avery?"
The voice that came on wasn't Avery, or Malcolm. "Who is speaking, please?" It was male, and I didn't know the voice.
"I don't answer your questions, you answer mine."
"Are you police?" he asked.
"Yes." It was the truth.
"We are breaking none of your laws."
"You're trying to take over the Church of Eternal Life here in my town. I'd say that's illegal."
"We have offered no violence to anyone. This will be a contest of wills and magical power. It is not illegal to use vampire powers on other vampires in your country. We will not use our powers on the humans here. I give you my word."
"How about the vampires? They're legal citizens of this country, too."
"We will offer them no weapon, no hand of violence. Your laws protect only humans from vampire powers. In fact, the law could be interpreted to exclude all supernatural citizens from the protection the law gives against vampire manipulation."
"Lycanthropes are still considered human under the letter of the law."
"If you say so."
"I say so. Give me your name," I said.
"I am known as Giovanni. I would like to know who I am speaking with."
Frankly, I wasn't sure that he'd treat me like a cop, or like Jean-Claude's human servant. I wasn't even sure which role would work best here. "I'm Federal Marshal Anita Blake."
"Ah, the Master of the City's human servant."
"Yeah, that, too."
"We have done nothing, my mistress and I, to anger you in either of your roles."
That was a little too close for comfort to what I'd just been thinking. Had he read my mind, and me not know it? Shit.
"If Columbine is your mistress, then yeah, she did piss me off."
"We read your laws, Marshal. Columbine used her powers on you, your master, and his wolf. She did not use her powers on humans."
"She and her friend Nivia framed two legal citizen vampires for murder, and two humans died to do that."
"Nivia did that on her own. My mistress was most upset when she found that Nivia had done these horrible things." He didn't even try to keep his voice from sounding fake.
He knew I couldn't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it hadn't been just Nivia, who was conveniently dead. It was her weretiger that had tried to kill Peter, a human. Again, conveniently dead.
"Son of a bitch," I said, softly.
"Excuse me, Marshal."
"I have a warrant of execution and it works just fine for you and your mistress."
"But if you use it knowing that we did not do these crimes, then you are a murderer. Perhaps you will never be tried as such, but you will know that you have abused your powers and simply killed to protect your master like a good human servant, but not a very good federal marshal."
"You've done your homework," I said.
Micah was beside me now. I held up a hand so he wouldn't try to talk to me. I glanced back and found Nathaniel still talking to Zerbrowski. Whatever he was saying had the sergeant's full attention.
"We know you are honorable, and your master is honorable. We will not harm Malcolm or his people. We will simply challenge him for them, and use only legal means to win the challenge."
"Avery Seabrook is already blood-oathed to Jean-Claude. He's off limits."
"Very well, but the others are no one's flock."
"Malcolm gave them to Jean-Claude. We haven't blood-oathed them yet, but they are ours."
"Lies do not become you, Marshal Blake."
"Can you taste a lie in my voice?"
"I have that ability."
"Fine, then listen carefully, Giovanni. Malcolm gave his entire congregation to Jean-Claude and me. They belong to the Master of the City of St. Louis now. You can defeat Malcolm with your vampire wiles, but it won't win you shit. By vampire law you have to defeat the master that owns them before you can oath them to you."
He was quiet for a second. I heard him breathing, which isn't a vampire thing. He was human, somehow; he was her human servant. He had more powers than most human servants, but then so did I.
"I hear truth in your words. But I heard truth in Malcolm's speech to my mistress only moments ago. She forced him to tell truthfully if Jean-Claude had a claim to his congregation. He said Jean-Claude did not."
"You underestimated Malcolm's powers, Giovanni. He got a message to us, and you have a church full of legal American citizens with rights. You have a church full of vampires who belong to the Master of the City of St. Louis, and they have rights under vampire law, too. You've been very careful that my status as a police officer isn't invoked here. I'll hold you to vampire law just as tight as human law. You break either of them, and I will rain all over your parade."
"But as the laws constrain us, they also constrain you, Anita Blake."
"Yeah, yeah, you and the horse you rode in on."
"I don't understand. We have no horses."
"Sorry, it's slang. I mean that I understand what you said, and I'm not impressed."
"Malcolm used your young vampire here to somehow give you this message, didn't he?"
"I don't have to give you information, not by either set of laws."
"True," he said, "but if my mistress blood-oaths enough of these vampires, then she will have enough power to defeat Jean-Claude."
"You're Harlequin. You can't kill anyone without giving them a black mask first."
"We are not attacking as Harlequin. My mistress has grown weary of being a tool for the council. She wishes to have her own lands in this new country of yours. Jean-Claude was harder to destroy with vampire powers than she anticipated."
"You're supposed to give a formal challenge before you start battling to take over."
"Did Jean-Claude give a formal challenge to Nikolaos, the old Master of the City, before you slew her for him?"
I took a breath, then didn't try to say anything. Truthfully, I hadn't realized that killing Nikolaos would make him master. I'd just been trying to stay alive and keep her from killing other people. But it had opened the way for Jean-Claude to own the city. Saying it had been an accident would make us sound weak. So I shut my mouth and tried to think.
Micah was on his own cell phone. I heard him say, "Jean-Claude." Had Micah heard enough to tell Jean-Claude what he needed to know?
"I'll take that as a no," Giovanni said.
"I thought the Harlequin couldn't have a territory of their own. They're supposed to be neutral."
"We grow weary of this wandering life. We wish for a home."
"You could petition Jean-Claude to join his kiss."
"My mistress wishes to rule, not to serve."
I started walking toward the exit. Whatever we were going to do, we needed to be at that church. We needed to stop whatever they had planned. Somehow I didn't think they were done with their bid for power in St. Louis.
"The council has forbidden war between master vamps in America right now."
"Only if the fight cannot be kept secret. My master is confident this will be settled tonight, quietly."
"Overconfidence, Giovanni, it'll get you killed."
Nathaniel was alone at the end of the hallway. I didn't know where Zerbrowski had run off to, but it was just as well. I wasn't sure what my face looked like, but I knew I didn't look happy. I didn't want to lie to him, and so far this was a party for monsters, not cops.
"We will try our powers against each vampire here in turn. Those that cannot withstand us will be blood-oathed to Columbine."
"You can't blood-oath someone else's vamps, it's against the rules."
"Think of it as the beginning of the duel between your master and mine." The phone went dead.
"Shit," I said.
Micah handed me his phone. "It's Jean-Claude. I've told him it's the Harlequin, and it's the church."
I took the phone and started talking. Jean-Claude listened and asked a few questions here and there. Maybe he felt my urgency over the phone, or maybe he'd spent too many centuries dealing with exactly this kind of shit.
"Will you bring human police?"
"I'll bring Edward and Olaf, but I don't know about the rest. I can't prove they've broken any human laws."
"I will leave it to your discretion whether a he would be useful here."
"You mean use the warrant even if I'm not certain she did it?"
"It is your honor that is at stake, not my own. I will call the wereanimals and my vampires. Be careful, ma petite."
"You, too." He hung up.
I stopped walking. My pulse was suddenly in my throat. Panic screamed through me. I was sure, certain, I would get everyone killed. If I took the cops, they'd die. If I didn't invite the cops, my other friends would die. I couldn't do this.
I looked at Micah. "This could turn into a hostage situation, and I'm not trained for that. They've got a few hundred people in there; what if I get them killed? What if I make the wrong choice?"
Micah searched my face with his gaze. "First, you need to shield better, because this kind of self-doubt isn't like you. Second, she doesn't want them dead. She wants to blood-oath them, and that means she wants them healthy."
I nodded. "You're right, you're right." The tremble of panic in my gut was still there. He was so right. I'd had vampires mess with my mind before in all sorts of ways, but Mercia's power was almost the most awful. Because it made you have to feel your own emotions intensified until you almost couldn't stand it. I think I'd have rather dealt with a good old-fashioned attempt to control me with her thoughts than this emotional rape.
"Why isn't it affecting you?" I asked.
"I don't think she's targeted me yet."
"She targeted Graham. How did she know to target him?"
"Soledad scouted for her, maybe," he said.
I nodded. "Right, right."
Nathaniel came up to us, alone. I asked, "Where did Zerbrowski go?"
"I got him talking about the party at his house. I asked what food his wife wanted us to bring. I think he's more worried about you bringing us both to the party than he admits, because it distracted him from your super-secret phone call. What's really happening?"
I told him. "I'm afraid no matter what cops I send in, she'll mind-fuck them. It's so subtle, she just emphasizes what you're already feeling. It seems not to activate the holy items."
"Because she's not adding anything," Nathaniel said.
"What?" I asked; we all looked at him.
"She's not putting power into you, she's giving more power to what's already inside you. Maybe that's why the holy objects don't go off?"
I smiled at him. "When did you get so smart?"
He shrugged, but looked pleased.
"What if we call out Mobile Reserve and she fucks their minds? I can't guarantee that she won't turn them against each other, or more likely the congregation, and once I call them, they sort of take over. I'll lose control of the situation."
"I'm not sure you have control of the situation now," Micah said.
"Thanks," I said.
He touched my shoulder, gently. "Anita, what you're really trying to decide is, is it the police you need to be backup, or is it Jean-Claude's vampires and our shapeshifters?"
I nodded. "You're right, you are exactly right. That is what I'm trying to decide."
"Won't Zerbrowski and the rest of the uniforms suspect something when you run out of here?" Nathaniel asked.
"I have nearly total discretion on how any warrant of execution is served. I don't have to include any other police. But the Harlequin have fixed it so that the warrant really isn't in effect here."
"It's a shame you can't deputize civilians, like in the old movies," Nathaniel said.
I had the grace to look embarrassed. "I was sort of disappointed I couldn't do that, too. It would have been so damn convenient."
"Whatever you are going to do, it has to be done now," Micah said.
I felt paralyzed. I couldn't decide. It wasn't like me in an emergency. I stepped away from both of them so they weren't touching me. I took a deep calming breath, and another. All I could think about was how I'd almost gotten Peter killed. He might be a lycanthrope, at sixteen. Would I get Malcolm killed? I didn't want to risk anyone else. I couldn't bear the thought of Zerbrowski dead and having to face his family. I couldn't...
Hands grabbed me, and I was suddenly staring up into Nathaniel's face. "I can feel it," he said. "She's shoving doubt into you." His hands gripped my arms tight, his face was so intense. I was suddenly filled with certainty. A certainty built of unshakable faith. He believed in me. He believed in me utterly and completely. I tried to be frightened that anyone would believe so perfectly in me, but the fear could not last on the tide of his belief. He simply knew that I would do what was right. He knew that I would save Malcolm. He knew that I would punish the bad and save the good. He simply believed. It was one of the most comforting things I'd ever felt. There was a small part of me that screamed in the background, His faith isn't in God, it's in you. Again, I tried to be afraid, or struggle against it, but I couldn't. I felt his certainty, and there was no room for doubt in it.
I stared up at him and smiled. "Thank you," I said.
He gave me that smile, the one that he might have had if his life had been gentler. It was a smile that he'd only found in the last few months. I'd helped him find that smile. Me, and Micah.
Micah came to stand close to us but made no move to touch. "The power is coming off you in waves. It feels similar to what happens when you touch Damian, sometimes."
I nodded and looked back at Nathaniel. I'd never wondered what I'd gained from Nathaniel being my animal to call. Damian, as my vampire servant, gave me his control, honed over centuries of being at the mercy of one of the most sadistic vampire masters I'd ever heard of, which was saying something pretty terrible. I'd never thought to ask what Jean-Claude gained from Richard. From me, a certain ruthlessness; we sort of doubled our natural practicality. When we'd all survived tonight, I'd ask what he gained from Richard. But in that moment, I simply kissed the man in my arms. Kissed him not for lust, though that was always there, but because no one else could have made me believe in myself.