Their fingers brushed when she took the toy. She felt the impact all the way to her toes. She was aware of the heat in her cheeks when she took a too-quick step backward, but she hoped Adam didn’t notice. If he did, he had the tact not to mention it as he sank into his seat.
Settling into the chair across from him, she made a concerted effort to speak lightly, with an ease she was far from feeling. She was afraid if she let her composure slip now, she’d have a hard time reclaiming it. She set the stuffed dragon on the table. “This is Norbert. Simon’s usually more careful with him. I guess he was excited about the field trip.”
“So. Simon.”
Another faint tremor went through her, but she thought she controlled it better this time. She met his gaze. “I realized I was pregnant a few weeks after I returne
d home six years ago. It was quite a shock. I thought we’d been so careful. And before you ask, there was no chance that I was already pregnant when I met you. You were the only man I was with when he was conceived.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw, which she took as confirmation that the question had occurred to him.
She moistened her lips. “I named him Simon Eryk Zielinski. Eryk was my grandfather’s name.”
Adam pushed a hand through his wind-tossed dark hair, and she could see the tension that gripped him. They hadn’t exchanged a lot of personal information when they’d met before, but she’d assumed he was close to her own age. She was now thirty-three, but the passing years had aged him more. Not so much in appearance. He was as fit and as attractive, if not even more so, as he’d been then. But beneath the polite smile he’d worn among the resort guests, she’d detected a solemn gravity that hadn’t been present before.
She wondered again how he’d ended up working here, what else he’d done since she’d seen him last. She wondered what he was thinking. Feeling.
His stormy gray eyes met hers and she swallowed hard. For a moment, she felt a bit intimidated. Shaking off the feeling, she lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, waiting for him to speak.
“You didn’t really answer me earlier,” he said in a low voice. “Did you try to find me?”
She spread her hands. “You made it clear when you left that you weren’t interested in future contact. When I found out I was pregnant, I called the resort, but the woman in the office wouldn’t give me your information. Short of hiring a private investigator, I didn’t know what else to do.”
His eyes sparked and for a moment, she thought he was going to tell her that was exactly what she should have done.
She spoke forcefully again before he had a chance. “Do you remember what you said to me that first night, when we ended up in my bedroom after walking on the beach?”
He frowned as though he wasn’t sure where this was leading. “Not specifically.”
“You said there was no need to exchange contact information because you had plans that didn’t include a relationship. You made it clear a little vacation fun was all you wanted. As I told you then, I wasn’t looking for anything more, either. I figured the way you left proved you hadn’t changed your mind.”
He had the grace to wince at the reminder of the way he’d slipped out. “I had an early flight that day, and it seemed easier to skip goodbyes. Of course, I had no idea—”
She shook her head. “I’m not asking for an apology. You were never anything but honest with me. I was just as happy to avoid any awkwardness.”
Which was true, for the most part. Once she’d gotten past the disappointment of waking to find him gone, thinking she would never see him again, she’d decided he’d chosen exactly the right way to end things. The brief affair had been spontaneous, hot and fun, and it wouldn’t have felt right to wrap it up with a perfunctory hug or a bittersweet kiss. She’d told herself she didn’t regret a thing, that their time together would be a memory she would privately cherish for years to come.
Then she’d realized she was pregnant, and she’d known the memories wouldn’t be so easy to tuck away.
“I wasn’t apologizing,” Adam said curtly. “Did you really want me to leave with a handshake?”
She was taken aback by how closely his words echoed her own thoughts.
Their gazes held for several long moments. Was he replaying some of the same memories that had crept out of the past to haunt her now? Was he hearing sounds of quiet laughs and soft moans, of hungry kisses and exultant gasps? How many times had she woken in the middle of the night after dreams filled with the rush of the ocean and the touch of his hands?
Those rare but vivid dreams had taken her by surprise each time. She’d have sworn she’d long since put the weekend behind her. But then again, she lived with a daily reminder of her days and nights with Adam, so it was only natural she’d have thoughts of him from time to time. Right?
Swallowing hard, she rose to her feet. She craved a few moments to herself, just a chance to clear her thoughts, to lock away the memories again. “I need a glass of water. Can I get you anything?”
He looked as though he were going to decline, but then seemed to change his mind. “Yeah, water sounds good. Thanks.”
She doubted he was any thirstier than she was, but maybe he, too, thought it a good idea to change the tone of this conversation. To focus on what needed to be their priority.
Their son.
* * *
TOO RESTLESS TO SIT, Adam stood when Joanna did, then turned to lean against the railing and gaze moodily out at the view. The suites were arranged to maximize privacy with palmettos and flowering trees between the balconies. Vacationers milled on the beach in the distance. A young couple strolled hand in hand through the courtyard below, seemingly oblivious to anyone around them.