Rosie lifted her head from the corner where she’d been snoozing (I kn
ow, who could snooze at a time like this?) and smirked.
“What? You entered on a higher floor when you died? Well, we can’t all be hellhounds!” I argued as I planted the stupid cap on my head.
Brooks and Ren were waiting for us back at the bloodletting doors. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter as I went over. This was so humiliating! The only thing that didn’t make me melt into the ground was the fact that Brooks was wearing the girl version of the uniform: a sleeveless striped shirt, and a hat that looked like an upside-down popcorn bucket. She and Ren were twinning, except somehow Ren’s red boots hadn’t been destroyed in Clem’s dumb fumigation process (she said it was because they were made Texas-strong). I was glad to see that Brooks’s backpack hung off her right shoulder.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Brooks said, “Say one word, Obispo, and I’ll drop you a hundred feet.”
Brooks was totally strong enough to make good on her promise, so I kept my mouth shut.
Quinn called Rosie over and whispered something in her ear, and the hellhound took off running. “Hey!” I called after her. “Rosie!”
“Stop wigging, Obispo,” Quinn said. “You’ll see her again.”
“How long do I have to stay in this stupid uniform?” Hondo licked his finger and rubbed at a ketchup stain.
“For as long as you’re here,” Quinn snorted. “And to be honest, even the fried-hot-dog smell and bone dust can’t cover your human scent,” she said to Hondo. “You sure you want to risk bringing him along, Zane?”
“Hondo comes with us.”
“It’s your funeral.”
Quinn turned to Clementino. “Thanks, Clem. I owe you one.”
Clementino rubbed his bone-dust-covered hands together. “A deal’s a deal. You’ll put in a good word for me? Get me into that high stakes poker game up on level six?” He flashed another toothy grin.
“You really think you can beat demons on their own turf?” Quinn asked.
With the flick of his wrist, a king of diamonds card appeared in his hand. “They don’t call me One-Eyed Ax for nothing.”
I’d played enough card games to know that the king of diamonds is depicted with one eye and an ax. Great. We’d just relied on a dead gambler to conceal us from the underworld’s monsters.
Clem turned to the rest of us and snickered. “May your journey be…lucky.” He disappeared behind the bloodletting doors. “You’re going to need all the luck you can get,” he shouted from the other side.
Brooks said to Quinn, “Maybe it’s not a good idea to trust someone called One-Eyed Ax.”
“Desperate people don’t get to choose whom to trust,” Quinn said. “Let’s go.”
Brooks rolled her eyes and tugged on her hat as we followed her sister out of the dim warehouse. “I hate it here.”
Hondo asked, “Where are we going now?”
Quinn looked back over her shoulder. “Pus River.”
Here’s when things went from semi-smooth to Maya mayhem. (Always expect mayhem in our world.)
Sporting our Hot Dog on a Stick polyester, we followed Quinn up a couple flights of corroded metal stairs. “You found a gateway?” I asked her.
“No, I just thought a tour of Pus River would be super fun.”
Once we got to the top, Quinn stopped at a claw-slashed door and faced us like some kind of general. “Anyone afraid of heights?”
Water dripped off the stairwell (at least I hoped it was water) as we all shook our heads.
“So, is this, uh…the river place…? Is that what’s behind the door?” Hondo asked, trying to look chill, but I could tell he was nervous.
Quinn gave an annoyed smirk. “We’ll be flying the rest of the way. But don’t relax yet. If any of the beasts below get a whiff of you, things could get hairy and bloody, and they’ll notify Ixtab of your presence in less than a second.” She exhaled. “That’s why I sent Rosie ahead. She can act as our on-the-ground defense, just in case. Now, a few rules.” She flashed three fingers. “Don’t talk. Don’t breathe too much. And, oh, for sure do not sneeze or cough. Got it?”