He kissed my temple again. “I appreciate what you did for me today… but mostly, I appreciate you.”
God, I wanted to nod and wrap my arms around him. But something held me back. “I want to, but you know, the other night with the twins, we sort of… did some things.”
Knox had clearly known something was up, because he’d made me feel better the next morning, but I wasn’t sure if he’d guessed how far we’d gone.
“It’s okay, I know.”
I half sat up, staring down at him in the dim light. “They told you about it?”
He stroked my hair until I settled back down, my head in the crook of his arm. “I heard you,” he said softly, “and it sounded like you really enjoyed yourself. I’d like to make you enjoy yourself, too.”
His words made my pulse quicken, but saying yes felt wrong—no matter how much I wanted to. All the good feelings from the party and the talk with Ronnie faded away. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. If I hadn’t… done things with the twins, then I’d definitely say yes, but…” I couldn’t think how to finish. Misery washed over me.
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Are you dating them? Or one of them?”
“No,” I said, then reconsidered. “At least I don’t think so. It just happened.”
“Are you sorry it did?”
“No,” I said instantly. “But I’m sorry I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?” His words were curious, not challenging.
“Because… because it would be wrong.”
“It doesn’t have to be, Emma. We all like you. We all want to be with you.”
I froze, thinking that through. “I like you all, too.”
“Do you like one of us more than the others?”
My first impulse was to say no, but then I took a moment to make sure it was true. The twins were so fun-loving. I felt alive when I was around them. Denver seemed to get me, and that was a wonderful experience after spending my whole life around people who didn’t. And Austin had taught me to stop censoring myself by worrying what other people thought. Tonio worked so hard studying for his classes, yet he still cooked for us almost every day. He had ambitions and he’d encouraged me to develop my own. He’d set this whole indie author thing in motion.
And then there was Knox. From nearly the first moment, he’d provided me with a sense of stability. That first day in the kitchen, when staying here had seemed like a preposterous idea, it had been his approval that helped me make the decision. A man his size scared a lot of people, but his quiet demeanor made me feel calm and centered. “I like all of you. A lot.”
“You don’t have to choose between us. We know how to share… if that’s what you want.”
Share. One of the twins had said something like that, too. “Have you guys… shared a woman before?”
“Yes,” he said simply. “But it wasn’t the same.”
Curiosity sparked inside of me. “Why not?”
He hesitated. “That was just about sex. This… we all know this is different. Being with you would mean more than that.”
“It would for me, too, but—”
“It goes against everything you’ve ever been taught,” Knox concluded.
“Yeah.”
“But so did sharing a house with four men, at first. And sleeping with them in their beds. You did those things—do you regret them?”
“Not at all.”
“So maybe you wouldn’t be sorry if you let me touch you. If you let me make you feel good.”
The honest truth was that I wanted to. So badly. I was almost at the point of ignoring the voice inside me that told me it was wrong, but there was still one thing making me hesitate.
“What about Tonio?”
“What about him?”
“Won’t he feel left out?”
Knox was silent for a moment. “He’ll understand. And maybe sometime soon you can spend some time with him—if you want to.”
“Are you sure he won’t feel hurt?”
“Yes. We talked about this a while back. When it became clear that we each had feelings for you.”
Wow. That was a lot to process, but just hearing him say that made me happier than I could say. “Why didn’t Austin and Denver tell me all this?”
“They’re strippers. They show, not tell.”
That made me giggle. But then I saw Tonio’s handsome face in my mind and I frowned.
Knox seemed to read my mind. “If you’d like, we can invite Tonio in here now.”
“Really?” The thought had a definite appeal. It had been so intoxicating to be in between the twins the other night. “I kind of feel like tonight is just between you and me. It’s your special day.”
“Because you made it special. Can I kiss you, Emma? A real kiss?”
“Yes.” My voice was barely more than a whisper, but he heard my answer.
To my surprise, he pulled me on top of him so that I was straddling his broad body. My hands were on his chest for balance as my breathing sped up. My knees were on either side of his hips, leaving me feeling open. Just my panties and his boxers separated my folds from his hot, hard body.