I should stop it before I find myself falling, but if I’m honest, he’s the first boy, man, who’s ever shown me who I really am. He understands what bothers me inside, and he’s given me an out. He’s shown me there’s more to life than the blades that I found solace in for seven long years.
But the moment he’s gone, because he will leave, I don’t know if I’m going to be strong enough to survive without him. The thought scares me, and I push off the bed and head into the bathroom.
Once I’m freshened up, I grab my phone and make my way down to the kitchen, where I find Joy making pancakes. She glances up, her smile brightening when she sees me.
“Good morning, Darling,” she greets, before handing me an empty mug, which I gratefully accept.
“How are you?” I ask her while I pour some java. I feel tired, exhausted, actually.
“I’m doing really well,” Joy says. She turns, holding a plate with a stack of fluffy goodness, which makes my stomach growl. “I think someone needs her breakfast,” she muses, with a grin.
I follow her out to the dining room to find Finn already seated at the table. It’s strange how they are always here for meals. Back home, I would eat alone, while my mother would be out with friends. We never had family time, even when Dad was around.
“Hey, little sis,” Finn says, with a wave. “I didn’t think you’d be up early today,” he observes, his gaze taking in every inch of me. His dark hair is pointing in all directions, as those eyes lock on mine.
“I didn’t think I would either, but I’m starving,” I respond, settling in beside him at the large table. It makes no sense for them to have a table, which seats sixteen when there are only four of them in the house on a normal day.
“My kinda girl.” Finn winks. We load our plates, but before I can tuck into my food, I feel his stare on me. When I look up, I find cocoa eyes on me. “You have your eye on my bro. Don’t you?” Finn asks suddenly, sending heat to my cheeks.
My mouth falls open when I gasp. “What?”
“You have a crush on Damien,” Finn tells me. It’s definitely not posed as a question, so I don’t respond. “You’re both so easy to read.”
“I’m not easy to read at all,” I tell him, feeling the tension in my muscles tighten. If my feelings for Damien are so easy to see… can they all see it?
“Oh?” Finn pushes to his feet, his hands sliding into the front pockets of his jeans. The dark strands of his hair hang into those gentle, playful eyes, and he grins at me. His smile hasn’t got the same effect on me that Damien’s does, but it’s just as intriguing.
“Yeah.”
“I call liar, liar,” Finn taunts, circling me before he stops right behind me, and I’m frozen to the spot.
“You can believe what you’d like to, but I know what I feel and what I think,” I tell Finn, but the way he’s looking at me, he knows I’m bullshitting him.
“Hey, I don’t give a shit if you want to bounce on my brother’s dick,” he says, with a shrug. “Just don’t let Dad find out, he’ll lose his shit. Perhaps, you can even make Damien feel something other than that stick that’s been shoved up his ass all these years.”
I can’t help but laugh at Finn. “He’s just not a party animal.”
“Oh, Darling. Damien is so much more than that. I’m guessing if you two are getting freaky, he’s told you about The Black Knights?”
“We are not getting freaky.” The words fall from my lips in a gasp at his words. “And he’s mentioned a little about Creed and The Black Knights.”
Finn shakes his head, as he reaches for the juice, which he could’ve asked me to hand him, but I have a feeling he wanted to get under my skin by standing behind me. Once he’s seated, he fills a glass, before looking at me. “Like I said, don’t care.”
“What about The Black Knights?” I have a feeling Damien may not want to give me the whole story, so if Finn is willing to talk about it, I’m not going to stop him. The more I can find out about the brothers I’m living with, the better.
“They’re bad news, and even though my brothers have both been part of their group, I haven’t gotten myself involved. They do stupid shit to keep themselves entertained.”
Now I’m intrigued, and I can’t focus on the food on my plate; instead, I’m staring at Finn. “Like?”
“Oh no, little sis, I ain’t getting involved in this. If you want to know, ask D, he’ll tell you. But just listen when he tells you to do something when we’re around Creed and the rest of the guys.”