Elliot wrapped his legs around my ass and tilted his head to deepen the frenetic slide of twisting tongues. He arched to meet my manic thrusts, opening himself to me, giving me sweaty, sexy friction and passionate kisses that made me dizzy with lust and need. The tingle at the base of my spine traveled to every limb and sent me reeling as I came apart. I bucked like crazy, then shook until I was limp with exhaustion.
It took me a good minute or two to register the soft brush of Elliot’s fingers on my nape and the sound of his breathing. Or maybe speaking. My heartbeat still echoed in my ears.
“Bray, you gotta move,” Elliot said softly. “I can’t breathe.”
“I don’t want to.”
He chuckled and kissed my cheek and my temple. “That was so fucking hot. I wonder when I’ll be able to walk again.”
I rose above him and frowned. “Did I hurt you?”
“Nah, I just haven’t been a catcher in a while. I’m gonna be sore.”
“A catcher? Really?”
He snickered merrily. “A receiver. Is that better?”
I kissed him, then carefully disengaged. “Marginally. Wow. I’m not sure how this happened. One second we were playing video games and then—”
“My dick said hello to your dick. They bumped and grinded and fought like hell to get close to each other. They are slutty little fuckers who no doubt arranged for this party to happen. Let’s call it what it was…a penis party.”
I snickered. “That’s a good one. I’m gonna get rid of the condom. I’ll be right back.”
I cleaned up in the bathroom and stopped to grab a couple of waters, setting one on the coffee table before searching for my shorts.
“No, don’t get dressed. I put the towel on the sofa. Lie down.”
When he tossed the cushions on the floor to make room for me, I curled up beside him. I hooked my leg around his and propped myself on my elbow to get a good look at him.
“That was amazing,” I said.
He captured my chin between his thumb and forefinger and smiled. “It was super fuck-tastic amazing. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t had a lot of experience…you know.”
“Getting fucked?”
“Yeah. Only a couple of times. I hated it the first time. It hurt like hell. The second time was better because I knew what to expect. My boyfriend at the time wasn’t exactly patient, so we stuck to what worked.” He furrowed his brow slightly and brushed a strand of hair from my eyes. “It’s funny how couples don’t communicate and then end up falling into habit and thinking that’s all they’re capable of.”
“I can see how that happens. I’m not great at communicating.”
“Are you kidding? You don’t seem to have a problem telling me what you need.”
“What do you think I need?”
“Well, you like quiet and order. But you like getting messy sometimes too. So, I think you need a combination of all three.”
I smiled. “Maybe so. What about you? What do you need?”
“Not much. I’m easy. But I wish I felt more…centered sometimes. More balanced. Sometimes I worry about winning and I forget to pay attention to the process. You don’t win if you don’t learn something from the journey, right?”
I smiled. “That sounds very wise.”
Elliot snorted. “I probably got that from a fortune cookie, but it makes sense to me. Every time I focus on a win, I lose. I don’t just mean games, I mean friendships and relationships. I always end up wondering what I did wrong and if there was anything I could have done differently.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Yeah, but I can be pretty hard on myself.”
I kissed his shoulder. “I know exactly what you mean. No one tears me down harder or says meaner things to myself than I do. The voices in my head can be so…ugly and loud. I haven’t learned how to quiet them without feeling guilty. I’m one of those oddballs who looks like he has his shit together on the outside, but inside…I’m a hot mess.”
Elliot smiled kindly. “Who isn’t? No one is perfect. We all have our own bullshit to deal with and nasty voices in our heads. We’re all just trying to figure out how to adjust the volume so we hear the good stuff.”
“Balance.”
“Exactly. Balance equals happiness and clarity.”
I traced his bottom lip, then met his gaze. “You might be the smartest guy I know.”
Elliot chuckled. “Ya think?”
“I’m serious. You deserve happiness and clarity. I hope you never settle for less.”
Elliot
Happiness. Clarity. I couldn’t tell if it was the simplicity of the sentiment or the intensity of his voice that rocked me. All I knew was that no one had ever looked at me quite like that. Braden’s voice was raw and rough. His eyes shone with sincerity and something I wanted more than I wanted my next breath. I didn’t know if it was friendship times ten or just an incredibly intimate moment, but I wanted to bottle it somehow so I could revisit the exact moment I fell for him.