Voices drifted somewhere in the distance. They barely registered, though. The only person I was aware of was Tegan.
Our smiles faded as we stared at each other. I didn’t know who moved first. We stood two feet apart and then one and then…we were so close I could see the freckles on his nose and the flecks of gold in his pretty green eyes. But that mouth. Fuck, he had the best smile and prettiest lips. I wanted to kiss him. Badly. I’d kissed a couple of girls at parties, but it always felt compulsory, like something I had to do to prove myself. Kissing Tegan felt like something I needed to do.
So I closed the distance, set my hand on his shoulder, and pressed my lips to his.
And it was perfect. Literally absolutely perfect. Don’t ask me why. I couldn’t say. It might have been the contrast of the fuzz on his chin and his soft lips. Or maybe it was just him. I felt like I could breathe again. Like everything I’d been missing since I’d moved away was here. And I was finally home.
It didn’t last.
We were too young and stupid. And we didn’t know how to move around it afterward. Kissing a guy was gay, and neither of us knew what the hell we were then. Gay, bi, curious? It was hard enough figuring out how to muddle through teenage angst without adding another label. A label I wasn’t sure I wanted.
So yeah, the kiss happened, and it was amazing, but we were more awkward than ever afterward. We slouched and postured and pretended to be interested in a game of darts and the baseball mitt lying on the tool bench before heading back to the party.
Fast forward fourteen years and here we were again. Except everything was different. We weren’t cautious former besties trying to find our footing. We were older and more…complicated.
Just like then, I was mesmerized by his nearness, his heat, his energy. Everything about him pulled me in. It always had.
And right now, the air felt electric around us. It sizzled and crackled with anticipation. I found it endlessly fascinating that he could ignore it, though maybe his tirade listing all the reasons I had no right to know what was going on in his life was a defense mechanism. He wanted to keep me out, and it pissed him off to know he hadn’t been successful.
I wondered what it said about me that I still thought he was hot as fuck. He’d probably hate it if I told him he was the only muscular dude I’d ever found attractive. It was true. I liked the way he carried himself. So damn sure and proud. Confidence was sexy.
My gaze wandered over his chest then to his mouth and—Geez, was he still talking?
“You don’t have the right to…”
I set my mug on the counter and waved my arms above my head. “Fine! I get it. I’ll stop being nice!”
“Please do.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
Tegan’s lips twitched in reluctant humor. He sobered quickly, as though he suddenly remembered who he was talking to, then furrowed his brow. “Look, we should probably talk about the other night. It was—”
“Hot,” I supplied.
“A hot mistake.”
“Maybe so. Regardless of how you feel about me, I love your family. And your mom is…she means a lot to me.”
Tegan glanced away briefly. “I know. She feels the same. As much as it pains me to admit this…I need your help. She wants to see you.”
I didn’t hesitate. “Okay. When?”
He held up his hand like a stop sign. “Hang on. There’s a catch.”
“What is it?”
“She doesn’t know that we’re not friends. For some reason she actually likes you, and I’ve never had the heart to tell her you’re a dick.”
“Gosh, that’s sweet of you,” I enthused sarcastically.
“I thought so too.” He stared at my mouth as he reached for his coffee cup. “It’s not a big deal. We just have to make nice in front of her for an hour or less, and then we can go back to normal.”
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Let me get this straight. You’ll help me with my song if I see your mom and pretend you and I are still cool?”
“Yeah.”
“I would’ve done it for nothing. You know that.”
Tegan nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t want to owe you anything. Not a dollar or a minute of time. The only way this can work is if we operate on an equal system. A barter system. I’ll do something for you if you do something for me. Get it?”
I rolled my eyes. “God, you’re a piece of work. What do you propose?”
“A simple visit to the house should do the trick. Maybe in the next couple of weeks. Yesterday went well and she’s feeling fine, but we’ll have to play it by ear.”