I’d watch him in stealth mode, careful not to stare too long. It wasn’t easy.
Sometimes our eyes would meet across a restaurant, a parking lot, or a stage, and we just…communicated.
Try the salmon. I’m two beers in and I want two more. The lot’s already full. Think they’re all here to see us? Holy fuck! Another packed house. This is getting crazy.
No doubt the hiding and secrecy would get old, but more than a week into our tour, the thrill was still there.
I sidled beside Charlie to watch the end of Zero’s show. I scanned the stage before casting my gaze over the crowd. The audience was nuts tonight. Men and women screamed Justin’s name, played air guitar with Johnny, wore fedoras like Ky and backward baseball caps like Tegan. They knew the words to every song and made up words to the ones they didn’t know. And everyone danced. The walls were shaking, and the noise level was deafening. It was fucking amazing. They’d been the same for Jealousy…without the prolonged scream-a-thons. Whatever our bands had, they wanted…times ten.
I gestured toward the five college-aged girls in the front row, swooning over Justin as he belted out some sexy line about wanting to “feel it all over.”
“This is the wildest crowd so far,” I commented.
Charlie nodded. “I know. Those girls are looking at Justin the way I look at hot fudge on a warm brownie.”
I snickered. “Why does it feel different tonight?”
He shrugged with faux nonchalance before flashing a wicked grin at me. “I called in a few favors with some of my ’Gram and YouTube friends and…I put both bands on TikTok. It’s got to be working. I’m going to run the reports tomorrow, but the proof is right there. And…Phoenix is a big city. That helps too. Fans are starting to notice. Your record is selling well too. I don’t know about you, but if this trend continues, I’m treating myself to a spa day in Vegas.”
I smiled and turned my attention back to Tegan hammering away on his drums…his mouth set in concentration and his legs spread wide. He was a master, totally in command of the beat. And he got better every day. More intense, more driven, more in tune.
Charlie nudged my shoulder meaningfully as a crew member handed me a guitar. I slipped the strap over my head and nodded my thanks.
We were trying something new tonight. Instead of Tegan playing drums on “The Magic” with Jealousy, I was going to play and sing a Zero song with Justin. Charlie suggested we mix it up. Apparently, the fake boyfriend story might get nixed.
“The interest is waning. If Xena doesn’t try any new tricks, no one really cares if you’re with a drummer. But two sexy lead singers onstage together…that’ll turn heads.”
Justin had snarled at the idea initially but agreed to give it a shot tonight.
Was I nervous? Yep. And I couldn’t figure out why. I’d just finished playing a kickass set with my own band to the same crowd. They’d liked Jealousy, and they obviously loved Zero. But what had started out as a publicity ruse had turned into something bigger than that for me.
Sure, I was a professional. But I wasn’t an actor. My job was to pour my emotions into my songs. To make people feel. I supposed you could say I was afraid of doing my job too well tonight.
“…welcome Declan McNamara!”
I walked onstage to thunderous applause and greeted Justin with a fist bump before waving at the audience. “Hey again, Phoenix.”
“How’s it hangin’, man?” Justin asked conversationally, as though five-hundred-plus fans weren’t screaming our names a few feet away.
I moved my guitar and glanced down at my crotch. “All good, Jus.”
The screams escalated. Justin snorted, Johnny threw his head back and laughed, Ky gave me a high five, and Tegan…I couldn’t see him unless I turned around. Don’t do it. Everyone’s watching. They’ll know.
I played a couple of notes from a Zero song. I closed my eyes as I strummed and tried to block out the applause, the catcalls, the wolf whistles, and—
Fuck it. I turned toward the drums.
Tegan smiled.
That was it. Nothing else. He might have inclined his head too, but the smile got me. It wasn’t much more than a quick flash of humor, but it was for me only. It was the grown-up equivalent of passing a note with invisible ink under a desk during class in high school. Even if we got caught, no one else would understand the meaning.
I pushed the errant stream of thought aside and refocused on the screaming fans eating up Justin’s onstage hijinks and…missed my cue. A whole verse just evaporated from my brain. Justin gave me a funny look and signaled for me to continue on guitar.
I sang backup vocals and harmonized at the end. And in between, I unabashedly watched T at work, admiring his quick reflexes and concentration. Unlike me, he was actually able to stick to the game plan and do his job.