She smiled, unable to picture him on his knees for anyone. “No, I’m not. You lucked out when you cast me, honey. I’m what’s called a switch. I like being on the receiving end too, though that depends on who the top is. It takes talent to tempt me to let go of my control.”
“Did Porter have talent?”
Her lips parted in surprise. He was asking about Jeremy? “You mean before he was in a monogamous relationship with your brother? No. What we did was an entirely different type of kink. It was largely voyeuristic for me. Watching can be a huge turn on for a lot of people.”
“I never thought you’d be one of them.”
“I am more of a director than an audience member.”
“You did more than direct. Owen’s talked about a few of those threesomes.”
“I don’t know how he could have. He only saw the one.”
“It left an impression,” Stephen grumbled. “But even before that, my brother had penis envy. He always said Jeremy’s big…his size was the reason he couldn’t get a date with you.”
“He couldn’t get a date with me because he was Owen. And I think we know now he was more interested than envious.” He was also Stephen’s brother. “You always knew about Jeremy, Stephen. I never kept it from you.”
“You also never explained why.”
No she hadn’t. Not everyone got her relationship with Jeremy Porter. In fact, most people didn’t. But she didn’t care what most people thought. Only Stephen. “We have a lot of shared history and a lot in common.” Both basically alone. Both wanting someone we couldn’t have. Something that wasn’t ours. “We gave each other comfort and distraction. We had fun because we could be ourselves and we were a safe place to land. But it’s been over for a while. Now he finally has what he always wanted, who he always wanted. And I couldn’t be happier for him.”
If, late at night when she couldn’t force herself to sleep, she also felt a twinge or two of jealousy that he’d found what she couldn’t, no one ever had to know.
His palm was cupping one cheek of her ass now. She should remind him that he wasn’t following the rules, but God, his hand felt good. Hot. Strong.
“Were you in love with him?”
Why would he care? “Yes, I love him madly, but not like that. Neither one of us ever felt like that about the other.”
“Then why risk your friendship for se—”
“No.” She bit her cheek, desperate to regain control. She shifted sensually against him for good measure. “We’re changing the subject now. It’s my turn to pry into your sex life and hear your confessions. Have you ever done anything with one of your women that you would consider kinky? If I know, it can help me tailor my performance as your love slave to suit you.”
His fingertips traced her curves. “Is sex in a public parking lot considered kinky? Or on my knees in the backyard gazebo where my parents renewed their vows only hours before? Would going through a woman’s personal things while she’s writhing on top of me with her ass bare and tempting me to take a bite be considered a fetish?”
“Biting is a thing,” she moaned as he squeezed the flesh under his hand. She wanted him to bite her. “But I don’t mean with me. With me it was the possibility of getting caught that always turned you on. I mean your other women.”
“It was never about getting caught.” He sounded distracted. Frustrated. “And no.”
“No, you’ve never done anything kinky with other women? Or no, you’re not going to tell me about it?”
“Yes.”
That didn’t seem fair, but she already knew the answer from years of experience. He may not know the buzzwords or have any toys, but when he loosened his tie and let himself go, she felt something from him. Something under the surface. A natural dominant waiting to come out and play. She just had to find a way to bring it out.
The devil inside made her press for a reaction. “You read as pure vanilla, but with a little guidance you could be one hell of a Dom. Even without it I think you have good instincts. If someone asks we can go with primal. It wouldn’t be too far off the mark and it doesn’t require any training with whips or ropes.”
“What does it require?”
“Just some good, old-fashioned alpha male aggression. I can see you getting off on pressing a woman down on the ground, holding her hands above her head or behind her back so she couldn’t distract you while you made her scream. You’d enjoy ripping off her clothes, grabbing a handful of hair at the base of her neck and yanking until she submitted to your demands.”
He swore and his grip on her flesh tightened deliciously. She loved his reaction, and the images her words had drawn in her own mind were arousing. Graphic. “Mmm. I can also tell the thought of spanking me has crossed your mind. Before you ask, I’m definitely up for it. You could spank my pussy and make me come like that. We can put it on the party performance list.”