“Best bartender-slash-psychologist I know.” He grimaces. “She’s having issues with her love triangle—a Finn and a Wayne, that greedy girl—so she’s decided to take a break from both of them to audit a few classes this semester in sunny California. Meanwhile, I’ve been asked to help you without backup. If she were here, she could take the heat and tell you what you’re doing wrong with your man.”
I’m not sure I like where this is going. “What am I doing wrong? And who asked you for help?”
“My brother. The big, irritatingly cheerful one. He’s worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You’re suspended and technically homeless, you’re having sex with your best friend, and now you’re suddenly looking after a complicated teenager and a tiny energetic dog after a lifetime of carefree bachelorhood. Pick your poison.”
I guess Royal’s mentioned me once or twice.
JD sends me a sideways glance, his fingers tapping on the bar. “And you do need my help with Miller. It’s early days yet, but he’s already got that look. It’s not a good sign.”
“What look?” I turn toward Miller, who’s deep in conversation with one of Austen’s sisters. “He looks good. He looks fine.”
As if sensing my attention, Miller turns to meet my gaze. His smile wobbles for a second before it turns into a full-fledged grin that makes me want to drag him out to that damn Hyundai for more semi-private time.
“Well that’s good to know,” JD says with a relieved sigh. “You love him, so half the battle is won. It might be a good idea to let him in on it.”
I know he was right about the bungee cord, but come on. “What makes you so sure I haven’t?”
JD pushes his hair behind his ears and shrugs. “If you’d told him you love him, he wouldn’t be looking around every five minutes to make sure you haven’t disappeared.”
Is he doing that?
“He’s having great sex for the first time ever—I’m just assuming it’s great, since I’m not psychic, but I know you tied him up and I’ve heard stories about you for years. So if I were experiencing this late-blooming love fest with a hot guy I cared about? I would probably be floating around with a soft, fuzzy sexed-up glow. But there’s no glow happening with Miller. He looks worried.”
I scowl because I know it’s true. Haven’t I been wondering what’s wrong? Why he keeps pushing me away?
“So you’re saying it’s because I haven’t told him?”
“What do you think?”
Honestly? Whether or not it’s fair to him, I think he should know me well enough to have an idea what I’m feeling. I’m here. I helped build the deck. I’ve picked up dog vomit. I’ve taken Fred to a protest and dealt with Diane’s constant glowering.
But you haven’t told him you want to stay. You haven’t told him you love him.
There’s been a lot going on. It’s not like there’s been a good time in the last week to…
Shit.
“I guess I really do suck at romance.”
Royal sets a glass down on the bar in front of JD and squeezes my shoulder. “You really do. But you’re getting better.”
“Don’t patronize him,” JD says.
“It’s called encouragement,” Royal corrects. “Positive reinforcement. I learned that from my other brother Joey. He’s a professional babysitter,” he adds in a stage whisper to me.
JD rolls his eyes. “He owns the company.”
“Whatever.”
I get to my feet. “I need to go talk to Miller for a minute.”
Carter smiles and slips his arm around JD affectionately. “Good man.”
“Wait.” JD’s eyes widen. “You can’t just walk up to him and blurt it out. Not now.”
“Why not?” Royal asks helpfully.
Yeah. Why not?
“Not everybody needs a grand gesture.” Carter gives JD a look. “But there is something to be said for romance.”
“It’s a good thing you brought barbecue to this party or we’d have words,” JD tells his husband grumpily. “And Brendan doesn’t need to take out an ad in the paper. But he knows Miller better than we do, and if he stops to think about it for a minute instead of barreling ahead without considering the consequences…”
He leaves his sentence unfinished, but I know where he’s going with it. Miller already thinks I’m impulsive. If I just throw it out there, he’s not going to take it seriously. He won’t understand, or even believe that I want to stay with him once my two weeks are up.
His belief that this is temporary has come up before, but I wasn’t paying enough attention to put it together.
“I’m going to make you a Dix Balzack calendar next Christmas. In memory of your short stint as a dog owner.”
And “The next time you visit, I’ll throw a party on this deck you finished. It’s perfect.”
“He thinks I’m leaving.”
“Aren’t you?” Royal said quietly. “Austen’s already pointed out that leaving is kind of what we do for a living. You know I’ve already been thinking about taking shorter trips. Flights that cross the country instead of the pond. But you love those long hauls. You always have. Miller knows that.”