‘I mean some things will change, of course. I’m not debating that. But I’m not changing who I am because of my baby.’
His fingers wanted to tighten, to draw a more satisfactory answer straight from her mind. He cautioned himself to relax, breathe deep. ‘Some things? Tell me what you think those things are. Then tell me what you think won’t change.’
Her mouth firmed for a second. ‘I haven’t laid it all out in a spreadsheet, if that’s what you mean—’
‘But clearly you’ve given it some thought, Goldie. So let’s have it. Bullet-point the big things for me.’
She exhaled. ‘Well, the first thing is to make sure the baby is healthy.’
‘Sí—agreed,’ he said.
‘Then, once he or she is born, we’ll have to discuss your visitation rights and how to work around our career schedules.’
His gut tightened, disbelief flashing through his system. ‘Visitation rights? Schedules?’
She nodded.
He dropped his hands and fought the terrible rush of dark fury and the memories of being discarded when it suited his mother that surged high. ‘And where will you be living while these rights are being discussed?’
She frowned, as if his question was absurd. ‘In New Jersey, with my mother—hopefully in a place that better suits us.’
‘Of course. So I’m to remain in California, where I’m based, only seeing my child when a court order stipulates, hmm? Presumably you intend to pursue your career?’
‘I...yes.’
‘So our child will be left in the care of minders, or your mother and her sober companion, perhaps, while you’re off on location around the world? Or do you intend to drag him or her with you?’
Her violet eyes grew wide, probably at his seemingly calm tone. ‘Gael, I told you I don’t have all the answers yet—’
‘That is exactly right. You do not. But I do. Before I tell you, though, I have a little tale to tell you. Are you ready to hear it?’
She blinked, then raised an eyebrow. ‘Do I have a choice? Aren’t you going to tell me anyway, whether I want to hear it or not?’
Gael took another step back—because right in that moment he wasn’t sure whether he yearned to kiss her sensual lips in an attempt to force down the memories surging, or condemn her for making those volatile emotions rise to the fore in the first place.
She shifted in reaction to the invisible fireworks sparking round the room, drawing his attention to her body, barely covered by the wispy sarong.
He whirled, slashing his fingers through his hair, and tried to seek a little clarity from the wide expanse of the ocean beyond the window. When it remained elusive, he took a deep breath and turned around again. Facing this thing head-on was the only viable option.
‘I’ve told you a little bit about my past...my parentage, sí?’
‘Yes...’ she responded warily, her gaze tracking him as he began to pace.
‘What you don’t know is that every few years when I was growing up my father would leave his wife for a few weeks and convince my mother to go away with him. Every time it was supposed to be the time—the moment when he left Alejandro’s mother and made a life with my mother, the woman he supposedly truly loved. At those times I was parcelled off to the local orphanage or left with casual acquaintances who were paid to mind me.’
She inhaled sharply. ‘Gael—’
He held up his hand. ‘I’m not telling you this to gain sympathy. This is a fact of my childhood. It’s behind me now, but it’s not forgotten. I have accepted that I didn’t even have a broken home to call my own—that my day-to-day existence was at the whim of a father who confirmed explicitly that I was an unwanted mistake when I dared to confront him.’
She gasped, her hand flying to mouth as if to cover the sound, the pain.
‘I have had no interest in becoming a father simply because it’s not a role I ever foresaw for myself.’
‘But—’
‘But now I am faced with the prospect of bringing my child into the world, things are not as clear-cut. However, there is one thing I intend to ensure will never happen where this child is concerned.’
She stared, unblinking, the pulse in her throat hammering wildly. ‘Wh-what is that?’