I’m not saying it’s a good thing. It just is what it is. Most people don’t understand that teasing is my special brand of affection, and you know what, that’s my fault. How can I expect virtual strangers to interpret the deep-seated issues in my head and translate Fuck off as Let’s be friends?
Being the second youngest of eight siblings meant I grew up fast. Winning arguments while also making my brothers and sisters laugh was big currency. And making them laugh often meant insulting one of them.
Maybe the fact that I’d spent most of my life not taking insults personally meant I was ill-equipped to understand people who did.
Neil Durant was one such person.
Yes, after our first meeting, I discovered his surname easily enough by surreptitiously quizzing Michaela. I then proceeded to look him up online. What? There was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way enough to want to torture myself. For some reason, I needed to know what he was about. It was an itch that I couldn’t resist scratching, and I didn’t know how to explain it.
Sadly, though, when it came to social media, Neil went bare-bones, which only made me more curious.
Neil was my opposite; neatly dressed, professional, and reserved. And yet, behind all that, he had a look in his eyes that spoke to me. It drew me in. It was the look of a person who’d lost in life enough times to know that things didn’t always go your way. There was nothing I disliked more than people who always got what they wanted, having no idea that it wasn’t normal. I hated trying to explain a bad experience to someone who’d never had it happen to them. I felt like they were judging me, thinking that whatever happened, I’d somehow brought it upon myself and that it wasn’t the way of the world to lose far more often than you won.
So, yeah, going by first impressions, Neil and I didn’t get along, but despite that, I was intrigued. I sensed a lot more going on behind the conservative facade, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Don’t get me wrong; my interest wasn’t romantic. I’d learned my lesson the hard way not to go searching for love after being abandoned by one too many boyfriends. You might as well walk outside with your chest cavity wide open, waiting for the nearest careless fuckboy to tear your heart out.
No, thank you. Not for me. Not anymore.
If I wanted companionship, I made a friend. I endeavoured to be interested in people on an intellectual level only, a little like my gargoyle in Greenforest. Except, unlike him, I did enjoy sex from time to time. And if I wanted sex, I found someone to do it with then went on my merry way. Simple as.
Anyway, I didn’t think I’d run into Neil again, but several weeks after our ill-fated sushi lunch, Michaela asked me to do her a favour by covering for her at work for a few hours. She was in a tight squeeze, and I couldn’t say no. Besides, it might be fun to ruffle Neil’s feathers.
I took the Tube to Notting Hill, where Michaela and Neil’s bosses were hosting a screening of a special episode of Running on Air. When I arrived at the small boutique cinema, the place was still locked up. I pressed on the buzzer, and a few moments later, Neil’s voice came through.
“Hello?”
“Hey! It’s Afric. Remember me? Michaela asked me to cover for her for a few hours,” I replied, pulling the collar of my coat up to stave off the chill.
There was a noticeable pause on Neil’s end, and my lips began to curve in a grin. He definitely wasn’t pleased about me showing up, and the part of me that enjoyed riling him was amused by that.
I heard him clear his throat. “Why can’t Michaela be here?”
“Women’s issues. She’ll stop by later.”
Another pause. Oh, this was going to be fun. “Are you going to buzz me in or leave me standing out here all day?”
“I should be able to handle things on my own. You can go,” he replied stiffly.
“I’m not going anywhere. Now buzz me in before I freeze to death.”
“Listen, I’m very grateful to you for coming, but I really don’t need the help.”
Huh. So, he was going to be stubborn, eh? I exhaled heavily. “Is this about how things went at lunch last time? Because if it is, I’m sorry, okay? I don’t always mean to be a bitch. It just happens sometimes.”
Neil
“I don’t always mean to be a bitch. It just happens sometimes.”
She could say that again. It felt like the world was continually trying to test me, and Michaela’s friend Afric was one of the most aggravating people I’d ever met. The woman was a walking, talking annoyance, and I definitely didn’t have time to entertain her today. She struck me as the sort of person who made tasks take twice as long as they needed to, and there was nothing I hated more than time-wasters.