He didn’t reply, instead he leaned across the table again and captured my lips in a kiss.
22.
Neil
I sensed the attention of a few of the coffee shop patrons as I gave Afric a less-than-appropriate kiss for a public space. When we finally broke apart for air, I relished the dreamy look in her eyes. I wanted to make her look like that all the time, preferably while lying naked in my bed.
I was still holding her hand as I brushed the inside of her wrist with my thumb and watched a tremble go through her. I could sit gazing at her all day, but I still had to get the photocopies over to Trevor’s flat before I clocked off. I also had to talk with Callum and James and tell them I wouldn’t be joining them in their sportswear venture. Morally, I couldn’t continue working as their assistant, not after what I’d done. But personally, I felt like it was time to move on, go out there and see what I could achieve on my own. I had no interest in sportswear, and it wouldn’t be fair to Callum and James to take on a job I didn’t feel passionate about, even if it came with a significant pay rise.
Don’t get me wrong, working on a TV show like Running on Air gave me experiences I’d cherish forever, and the friends I’d made along the way would be friends I kept for life, but I needed a change. I needed to take a risk. I’d been staid for far too long.
“I know we’ve technically moved onto eighties romcoms,” I said, “but I discovered an older adaptation of Persuasion that we haven’t watched yet. It’s supposed to be better than the newer version.”
“Persuasion was one of my favourites,” she said, eyes alight.
I know, that’s why I searched for it. I cleared my throat. “Do you want to come over to mine later and watch it? We could order in?”
“I’d love that,” she replied, and my immediate impulse was to blurt, And I love you, but I managed to reel it in. My chest was filled with so many feelings it was almost impossible to contain them all, but I knew for certain that I loved her. I just feared her reaction. What if she wasn’t there yet? What if the intensity of my feelings scared her away?
“I have a few more work things to do, but I can walk you to the Tube if you like,” I said, and she nodded. We left the coffee shop, and all the way to the station, my throat felt tight, my tongue heavy. Despite my fears, there was a pent-up need in me to tell her how I truly felt. I was going to burst with it. That was probably why, just as she was stepping onto the train going in the direction of Brixton, I uttered a quiet, “Just in case you don’t already know, I’m in love with you.”
The doors closed. Afric stood behind them, her eyebrows all the way up in her forehead, her blue eyes round with shock and surprise.
I saw her mouth a stunned, “What?”
And then the train was moving, and she was getting farther and farther away from me until she drifted completely from view.
Well, that was one way to tell her without having to worry about a response.
Great move, Neil. Played a blinder there.
I expected my phone to light up with a call, or maybe a string of messages, but it remained silent. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or depressed.
I didn’t have time to wallow, though, as I got back to work. It didn’t take long to drop the papers off at Trevor’s before I went to see Callum and James at the gym. The two of them had just finished a workout. Neither of them was happy with my news, but they also understood my need to go it alone. I’d spent years working in the shadow of their success, and now I had to prove to myself that I could build something on my own. I had some savings, plus a vast accumulation of knowledge and experience. Everything else, well, I could learn it as I went along.
After our chat about the sportswear venture, Callum pulled me aside and filled me in on the Annabelle situation. She hadn’t posted anything online, nor had she tried to make contact, but he and Leanne had handed her details over to their security company so that they could keep an eye on her. If she made a move to try to mess with them, then the company would alert them. It was a relief to know they were taking pre-emptive action on that front.
When I got back to my place, I hopped straight into the shower, needing to wash away the stress of the day. I must’ve sweated buckets during the few moments I declared my love to Afric and the train had taken her away at a steady pace, like she was on one of those travelators at the airport and I was just standing there, awkwardly watching her get farther away. Why did I have to be such a weirdo? Why couldn’t I express my love like a normal person?