High Heat (Hotshots 2) - Page 94
“Thanks.” Rain dropped his head against Garrick’s shoulder briefly before Cookie was back, dragging the leash Garrick’s dad had left on the kitchen counter. “Okay, okay, silly dog. I’m getting dressed.”
He pushed off Garrick’s lap and went to rifle through the dresser. Garrick missed his closeness but was okay with a reprieve from the heavy talk.
“Not that I don’t miss your ponies, but I like seeing you in my shirt,” Garrick said a few minutes later when they were both dressed and in the kitchen, Rain in an old triathlon shirt over his own silver shorts.
“Okay, caveman.” Rain kissed the top of Garrick’s head, and for a moment at least, things between them were back to a light, easy place.
They set off toward the park at a fast clip, Cookie pulling Rain ahead and making conversation tough until they reached the pull-up obstacle along the park path.
“You don’t have to do a full workout,” he told Rain, who was eying the bar. “God knows you’ve been working hard the last week. Go easy on yourself.”
“Maybe I don’t want easy.” Frowning, Rain rattled off an impressive ten pull-ups before returning to Garrick and Cookie.
“What do you want?” It wasn’t lost on Garrick that he probably should have started with that question back during their initial argument. He’d made a lot of assumptions, assumptions his conversation with his dad had underscored, but now he was much less sure. More importantly, he was trying hard to not let his own fears get in the way of listening to Rain, actually trusting him, the way he wanted Rain to trust him as well.
“That’s a good question.” Rain walked farther, face creased as if he was thinking hard, before collapsing onto a bench near the sprinkler pad. “I know what everyone expects me to say—you included.”
“Maybe fuck others’ opinions. You’ve never let people stop you from doing what you want in other areas. And yeah, I’m guilty of assuming I knew best, but I’m willing to be wrong here.” Garrick parked next to him, letting Cookie flop at their feet.
“Good.” Rain’s mouth quirked, but his eyes stayed wary.
“Also, if it helps, I don’t think there’s an answer that’s necessarily a deal breaker for us as a couple—that’s the part I wasn’t seeing clearly before. It’s not all or nothing.”
“How do you figure? Seems to me like there’s a really clear choice—here versus there, you versus alone.” Rain kicked at a rock near the bench.
“Maybe we’re both thinking about this wrong. It doesn’t have to be so black and white. I meant what I said the other day—me and Cookie, we’ll wait for you, as long as it takes. Go, chase the opportunity. There’ll be a place here for you when the season ends.”
“You hate long distance.” Shrugging, Rain studied the opposite side of the park where two women were jogging, perfectly in step with each other, each footfall synchronized like a footwear ad. Why couldn’t he and Garrick find the conversational equivalent of that kind of synergy?
“Well, I didn’t say it would be easy. Or preferable. But it also doesn’t have to be a permanent state of affairs. There’s a universe where you get the job, love it, and maybe I come to you.” He’d been thinking about that option for days now, but saying it aloud for the first time, his pulse still sped up. “I’m not tied to the smoke jumping job anymore. Dispatch or fire admin type jobs are going to be easier to come by wherever you land next.”
“But you love it here. This is where you grew up. Your dad is here. It’s your home. You’ve got your dream bachelor pad.”
“You’re not wrong about loving it here. And it would be complicated to move, sure. And it’ll always be home, but I also don’t want it to be an excuse for not going for what I truly want.” Taking a deep breath, he took Rain’s hand, squeezed it. He could admit now that when he’d been younger, he’d clung a little hard to those excuses, and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. “And what I want is you. Us. A chance at a future. That’s why I mean it when I say that I’d follow you. If you need to go, I’m not going to be the thing stopping you, but I would like to be the person at your side for the ride.”
“Wow. That... You want me that much? To leave everything if that’s what I really wish?”
“That’s how much I need you, yes. Wanting you was never the issue. You were right when you said I was afraid you’d break my heart by leaving eventually no matter what. But you make me want to be brave on a lot of different levels. And part of that is admitting that maybe my dreams have changed.”
Source: readsnovelonline.net