Up in Smoke (Hotshots 4)

“She’s not.” Releasing the blanket, Shane scooted closer again.

“And opportunities like this one for you, they don’t come along every day either. There’s plenty of air bases, but only one you.”

“Sweet talker.” Shane graced him with another quick kiss. “But your job is your life. Heck, it’s your family too.”

“Not anymore. You and Jewel, that’s my family. That’s where I want to be. If you want us.” His heart started thumping all over again. He hated this need, hated being so dependent on Shane’s answer. Old hurts mingled with fresh feelings, making him be the one to glance away, taking in one of the bland cityscapes on the wall.

“I want you. And if you asked me, I’d stay.” Shane used his hand to make Brandt look at him again. “That’s why I wanted to pull out of the competition. Because I want to be someone who stays for you. Someone you can count on.”

Oh. Shane didn’t simply want him, but rather he saw Brandt, all of him, those hurting, needy parts he tried so hard to bury, and he wasn’t scared off by them. He wanted to stay even though Brandt had pushed him away. That meant something, something that had Brandt’s eyes burning with a lot more than tiredness. “You are.”

“I could be happy with watching Jewel and the cover band gig.” Taking Brandt’s hand, Shane squeezed it. “Wouldn’t be a bad way to spend a summer. Or longer.”

“I know you could do that.” That he’d offer meant the world to Brandt, and he could see that life too, a path that wasn’t without its appeal. But the house wasn’t theirs, and the life wasn’t meant to be Shane’s. “I don’t want you to have to settle for small-time success. Not when you’ve got a gift and a shot.”

“All I ever wanted was to be heard. I thought I needed to hit it big for that to happen. But then I met you, and it turned out that what I really needed was the right audience. Someone to listen.”

“Baby, I could listen to you for days.” Brandt used their linked hands to draw Shane even closer. “But I want to share you with the world. Watching people’s faces as they saw your performance tonight was so cool. I want more of that.”

“You’d really come with me?”

“Think I’d follow you anywhere. You’re going places, Shane Travis, and I want to see them from the front row.”

“I’ll get you tickets.” Shane tumbled them both back on the bed.

“Hey now, don’t make me a liar about not fooling around.”

“G-rated. I promise.” Laughing softly, Shane gave him a lingering yet relatively chaste kiss. “I... You believing in me, that means everything to me.”

“And you mean everything to me too. You’re—”

“—something,” Shane finished with a tender laugh. “And you are too.”

As he drew Shane in for another kiss, there were other words that Brandt wanted to say, but he might have used up all his courage for one night, flexing emotional muscles he wasn’t sure he’d ever used before.

And the next few days loomed large too. They were one court date gone wrong for something so sweet to turn unbearably sour.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“Do you want me to hold her?” Shane asked as they approached the courthouse in Bend. They’d had to park a few blocks away, and now that they were approaching the imposing stone building with its flags and official-looking plaques out front, Shane’s insides were strangely quivery.

Nerves weren’t going to help anything, particularly Brandt, who wanted him here, who’d said he needed Shane and for more than this hearing, and no way was Shane going to let him down. But at the same time, the truth loomed as large as the courthouse that this was a big deal and anything could happen.

“Nah. I’ve got her.” Brandt sounded as tense as Shane felt, and the possessive way he was cradling the baby in her sling mirrored Shane’s urge to gather her close. This could be his last chance to smell her powdery scent, feel her warm little body against his arm, and the desire to snuggle her was almost as overwhelming as the one to grab Brandt and Jewel and run away to somewhere the real world couldn’t find them.

Except reality always did have a way of butting in. Even now, happy as he was about Brandt coming to his show and wanting a future with him, Shane was still bracing for the next bit of bad news. Brandt changing his mind. Shelby deciding she wanted to parent after all. Some state agency getting involved. Too many awful possibilities to count.

All the signs and notices on the door added to the doom cloud following them. This was real in a way that the last month or so hadn’t been—the stakes that much greater as they moved from temporary emergency to something more permanent. And that was also true for him and Brandt as a couple. It was one thing to have a fun fling and another thing entirely to place his heart on the line.