Rough Terrain (Out of Uniform 7) - Page 105
“That makes sense. I want you to graduate. I can’t guarantee I won’t be deployed, but I’ll put in for leave for your graduation as soon as I can.”
The warm in his chest melted his insides, made them all squishy, while the weight bearing down on his shoulders got much lighter. They could do this. Just the possibility of Renzo being there for graduation was going to carry him a long way.
“And maybe we discuss things again in December—if our vision of the future is still the same then, it’ll make more sense to make plans to make that vision more feasible.”
“I think it’ll still be the same.” Renzo squeezed his hand before getting back on the interstate. “And you were right. Having a vision of where I want to be with you makes it easier to confront the hard stuff like you possibly moving.”
“And maybe it won’t be that hard. Because we’ll be doing it together.”
“Yeah.” Renzo’s eyes were thoughtful, but far less stressed than they’d been earlier. “And we’ve got a few weeks here before I leave for training, then again when I get back. We can squeeze a lot into those.”
“We will,” Canaan promised. “Like you finally getting around to showing me core strength exercises.”
He’d known that would make Renzo laugh, and after their heavy talk, Renzo’s unrestrained laugh was more than welcome. “That I can do.”
They switched to lighter subjects the rest of the way to Chula Vista. Renzo’s buddy and his buddy’s brother were nice guys, and their backyard parkour course really was something cool. Watching Renzo tackle obstacles one after the other lifted Canaan up.
This was his guy. Who’d found a way to save them both, who’d loved him enough to try to let him go, and who loved him enough now to trust the future. And maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as leaping over trashcans or swinging from monkey bars, but Renzo’s determination and sheer joy in smashing through limitations told Canaan that they’d be all right. Maybe even better than all right.
* * *
Two days before Renzo left for training, they went skydiving. The civilian place he’d gone to before was about fifteen minutes from San Diego, using a small rural airport. The guy Renzo knew who operated the place, Roy, liked to do a scenic flight over San Diego before turning back around and jumping over the desert, making more of an experience out of the jump, and Renzo wanted that for Canaan.
“Are you sure you want to jump with me?” he asked again as they pulled into the airport. “You won’t hurt my feelings if you’d rather tandem with the instructor. And you can decide after your lesson too.”
Renzo had tandem jumped enough both military and civilian that Roy was comfortable giving Canaan the option of whom to jump with, but still wanted to personally do the lesson for Canaan and check the gear. He’d jump with them either way, and Renzo trusted him and his equipment.
“Yes, I want it to be you,” Canaan said patiently, leaning over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “No one I’d rather get strapped to at thirteen thousand feet, trust me.”
“I do.” Renzo meant about a lot more than just who Canaan wanted to jump with. The past few weeks they’d squeezed every spare minute together, building up a stockpile of memories for when Renzo was away at training. Showing Canaan the parkour course. Trying to figure out how to make Nona’s gravy in a video chat session with his mom in Grandpa’s kitchen. Going to the zoo and live music and finding new restaurants. Hanging out and quizzing Canaan before his next test. Sleeping together every chance he got.
And now they were down to hours, and surprisingly, he was okay. He did trust Canaan. Trusted that he’d be waiting for him after training. Trusted that they’d make it through this first separation. And when Canaan said he wanted to jump together, he believed him.
“Here.” He pulled Canaan to him for a longer kiss and slipped something he’d removed earlier around Canaan’s neck.
“What the... Your medallion?” Canaan fingered the necklace.
“It’s going to keep you safe today,” Renzo said firmly. “And going to keep you safe for me until December, okay?”
“But it’s your lucky charm.” Canaan’s eyes were wide.
“Don’t need it. I’ve got you now. You’re all the luck I need. And I wanted...” He trailed off. Maybe this was silly, this gesture of his. “Wanted to give you something. Kinda like a promise. That I believe in us.”
“I believe in us too.” Canaan’s voice was thick.
“Then let’s do this. Let’s jump together.” Renzo gave him another fast kiss before tugging him out of the truck. “Love you.”
He meant every word. Canaan was taking this huge leap of faith with him—not just the skydiving, but everything—the long distance, the possibility of moving, all of it, and the least Renzo could do was jump alongside him. Trust. He could believe in Canaan. Believe in himself. Believe in them.
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