I froze as my heart tripped over itself.
He felt the same way.
He’d been fighting it just as much as I had.
Shaking away his honesty, he smirked without any coldness. A true, comedic reaction. The first real smirk I’d ever seen on him, and oh, my God, it did more than just affect me. It bolted through me and ensured every cell hoarded that smirk with stark possession. How long since he’d smirked? Had he ever?
“As for your other question, stay there. I’ll be right back.” His long hair slid over his shoulder as he added, “And then I’ll show you what I’m going to do to you.”
Air was once again hard to come by as he looked at my nakedness obscured by water one last time before striding back to the house and leaving me alone.
The moment he was gone, I exhaled in a rush.
Oh. My. God.
What the hell are you doing, Gem?
This isn’t safe.
It sure as hell wasn’t safe. Not just for my body this time but for every other piece of me that was stupid enough to fall.
I should get out of this wonderful bath and run.
I should—
He returned with his hands full, the chain slinking through the grass behind him. That damn leash was getting so frustrating. Catching on furniture, clanging on walls, constantly getting snagged on things around the house.
I wanted it gone. Maybe after tonight, he’d let me go. Surely, he couldn’t keep me bound after this?
He didn’t speak as he went behind me, kneeled, and deposited the towel, shampoo, and conditioner on the ground.
I spun to face him just as the strangest thing happened.
His face went utterly blank, his eyes vacant.
I reached for him, dripping water all over his T-shirt as I rocked his shoulder. “Kas?”
For the longest few seconds, he swayed and didn’t react. He wasn’t there. Wherever his mind had gone, he wasn’t reachable.
Fear shot through me. It reminded me of his concussion in those early days when he’d go to sleep, and I never knew who he’d be when he woke. I stopped touching him, backing away with bathwater sloshing and sizzling into the embers beneath me.
I should leave.
I might not be safe when he—
Suddenly, he gasped and blinked. Staring at me as if I’d just appeared in front of him and hadn’t been there all along. He shook his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry, I...” He flinched. “I’m tired.”
I kept my distance, wary. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” His eyes were tight as he met mine. “Just a lapse, that’s all.”
“A lapse?”
“Yeah, you know.” He waved his arm as if people turned vacant all the time. And who knew? Perhaps they did if they’d lived in this house of horrors for as long as he had. “Nothing to worry about.” Tapping the bath, he commanded, “Come here and lie back.”
“What? Why?”
His eyebrows drew together. “Because I got you dirty, and it’s up to me to wash you clean.”
My heart skipped. “You didn’t get me dirty. I told you.”
“And I told you that I hate myself for what I did.” He splashed the surface, sending droplets glittering in the night. “Come here. Let me try to fix this.”
I studied him, staying where I was.
The thought of him bathing me? Of washing my hair and lavishing me with sweet attention? Ugh, it was enough for me to forget the messy few weeks and trust. No one had ever done that for me. I’d never allowed anyone close enough to offer such a thing.
But Kas...he’d offered because he viewed himself as beneath me. He’d captured me and treated me like he’d been treated, proving that those traumatized and twisted had every capacity to repeat the vicious circle. So how was he...changing? How had he morphed from someone who commanded I kneel and suck him to a man desperately hoping I’d agree to let him wash my hair?
Oh, Kas, what the hell are you doing to me?
“Gemma, I...” He sighed. “I give you my vow; I won’t hurt you. I don’t have any way of proving that vow, and I understand if you don’t believe me, but...” He swallowed and added almost shyly. “I care for you, so please...let me try to show you.”
I hugged myself as my heart grew so big it crushed against my ribs. His openness and honesty made dangerous things bubble inside me. All those questions I’d swallowed, all those subjects I daren’t chase, clambered for freedom.
Could I ask?
Would he answer?
“On one condition,” I whispered.
He flinched but nodded. “What’s the condition?”
I paused, gathering up more courage from the stars twinkling in the dark. “That you talk to me.”
“Talk?” He frowned.
“That you tell me about...” I pushed toward him, settling with my back in front of him. “Your family. Why you’re alone. What they did to you. Why you never left.”