She’d brought me right to the edge where my past and present did its best to merge.
I loved her, and that was the worst thing I could ever do.
I buried my face in my hands.
Why?
Why did this have to happen?
Why did she have to find me? Care for me? Be so goddamn perfect?
How was I supposed to say goodbye after weeks of admitting there was no way in hell I could ever let her go? How could my thoughts suddenly flip from selfishness to doing the right thing?
Schizophrenic, Kas.
I groaned.
No, I didn’t think this was a symptom of psychosis. This was just me. A product of doing whatever it took to keep those I loved safe.
I’d condemned myself to a childhood of rape and abuse, taking as much pain as I could to shelter those I loved. And now, now I finally had a chance at being happy with someone strong enough to stand up to me, and I couldn’t allow her to stay.
I wouldn’t.
Because if I did...she’d die.
Because of me.
All my prior possession slipped away.
She wasn’t mine to keep.
She was never mine to keep.
I swallowed hard, rubbing my temples to ease my constant headache.
She had to go.
There was no other option for her.
Because I fucking love her.
And I won’t hurt her again.
I swallowed another groan, forcing myself to keep walking. I’d been up for the past hour, patroling the hallways of Fables, skulking in the shadows, hunting bastards who might hurt the woman I’d fallen head over fucking heels in love with.
That was my sole purpose now.
To guard her, watch over her, protect her from everything...including me.
I shuddered as I cut through the rear of the house, padding barefoot past the laundry and surveillance room. What happened in the garden returned to haunt me. How incredible it’d been to sink inside her while pinning her against the wall. How she’d kissed me back. How she’d reacted to my touch, my tongue, my everything.
She’d made me feel wanted.
Real.
I remembered now.
I remembered who I’d been when I’d had a family to care for.
I remembered how nothing was more important than their welfare.
She’d shown me how good it could be between us. How right it felt to have her in my arms, willing and smiling, panting and squirming. How I could finally have someone to call my own after a decade of nothing.
She’d welcomed me.
All of me, and God, I wanted that.
But you can’t have it.
It didn’t matter she’d consumed me body and soul. When she was in my arms and my body was deep within hers, I lost the ability to keep my walls up.
I slammed to another stop, recalling the sensation of having no barrier between my present and past. There’d been no labyrinth to hide in. No fortress in which to block certain things.
My mind had been open.
My memories stark and ready to swarm.
For the first time in my life, I’d had the urge to give words to the sickness inside me.
And that would not have ended well for her.
A noise wrenched my head up.
My ears pricked as ice slid down my spine.
A voice.
A masculine voice.
Fuck!
I bolted.
I grabbed the walls and hurled myself through Fables, chasing the man’s voice, panic overflowing that they’d hurt her. Touched her. Trapped her.
Gem!
A male laughter echoed through Fables.
Flickers of Storymaker and Levin and all the other men who’d hurt me swamped my mind.
My gut twisted as I bolted through the foyer and skidded into the library.
I slammed to a stop.
Gemma.
She sat cross-legged on the floor with a bunch of rope, metal, and climbing gear before her. Her head was bowed, and a sound, half a laugh, half a cry, spilled from her lips. With her back to me, I couldn’t see what she held in her hands, but the voice came again.
A stranger.
A male I didn’t know.
An enemy I needed to protect her from.
Stalking forward, I jerked as Gem’s head suddenly swung to face me, her eyes flaring wide, her hands latching around something black and large. “Kas. Crap, you scared me.” Her shoulders rolled with relief, a tentative smile on her face. Her gaze slid over my naked chest, lingering on the waistband of my jeans. Heat sparked in her eyes as her cheeks pinked. “Where the hell did you come from? What are you doing up? Did I wake you? I’m sorry if I—”
The voice came again.
“Who the hell is that?” My legs moved on their own accord, shooting forward. I almost kicked her over as I stumbled to a halt and dropped to my haunches, my attention locking onto the video playing in her hands.
There, on a tiny screen, was Gemma dressed in a yellow skirt and white T-shirt. Her golden hair glimmered in the sun, and her radiant smile lit up from within.
And she was in some asshole’s arms.
An asshole who whirled her around and threatened to throw her to the ground, only to toss her over his shoulder instead.