Alyssa gives me a little snarl.
“You’re supposed to be too drained to do that,” I point out as I heave myself off the floor, then scream a little when a beast batters at the house’s barrier right in front of the window.
“Not cool,” I bite out, pointing at it.
“Our barrier didn’t keep Adam out,” Alyssa says, causing me to take a huge step back as I continue to point at the beast ramming itself into the house over and over and ov—
Leah tackles it from behind, repeatedly stabbing it in the back with her sword like a psychotic little jack-the-ripper jack rabbit. It bats her away, then turns its attention on her, just as Zee crashes into it with his own sword.
I whirl around, jogging back to the end of the bed, where Karma is crying out, and I avoid her hand. I’ve seen what human females do to their men’s hands during labor. No way am I handing mine over to an immortal half demon.
“Oh, holy fuck,” I say, eyes wide in horror as the head starts pushing through.
“Come on, Karma. You have to push harder,” Alyssa coaches.
“I am pushing harder!” Karma says, then releases an ear-piercing cry that shatters the windows in the room. And my eardrums.
“I’m officially traumatized, and I never thought I’d see the day where a vagina could make me this scared,” I state absently, staring as more of the head starts to—
I dart to the head of the bed and take Karma’s hand, deciding I’ll heal from a hand injury more than I will watching her vagina be savagely ripped apart from whatever little demon we’ve created.
“It’s too soon,” I tell Alyssa, trying not to panic as much as I’d—
My inner thoughts are cut short when I’m screaming like a little bitch, because Karma breaks every bone in my hand when she pushes again, crying out with the effort.
“Wow, that hurt just as much as I thought it would,” I say on a pained whimper.
Swapping hands, I brace for the next bone-crushing squeeze.
But suddenly one of those monsters rips off the door to the room, and I stare, frozen for a brief second before I launch myself at it with what we’ll call a battle cry and not a girly shriek.
It slings me across the hall like I’m a gnat, but I leap to my feet, keeping its attention on me.
“Someone must have really hated you to make you so ugly. Hell, you make Slade look pretty, and that’s not easy to do,” I tell the deformed humanoid creature lumbering toward me with a mouthful of fangs.
“Here, kitty, kitty. Come and get me,” I tell him, then take off running down the hall.
The ominous crashing behind me that seems to be closing in on me leaves me with no doubt I’m suicidal and that the beast is chasing me. So glad my plan is working. Just wish I had a phase 2 in mind, because clearly I can’t outrun it.
Phase 2 turns into me screaming like a banshee for help.
Just as I turn another hallway, Slade suddenly bursts through the wall. Naked, bloody, gashed, scarred flesh slides in front of my eyes, as he rams a sword right between the monster’s eyes so fast that it happens within a blink.
The monster drops to the ground, and Slade shoves the sword in a little harder as I try to keep my knees from buckling. He wipes blood away from his face like that was no big deal, and turns to walk out.
“Next time you burst through a wall like that, say hashtag, oh yeah!”
He just looks at me like I’m an insect, per the usual, before walking away. “That one was actually funny!” I call to his back. “Like the Kool-Aid man?! Get it?”
I don’t think he gets it.
I race back to the girls, just as Karma cries out so loud that the lights flicker and the house starts to shake like we’re on an active fault line.
Kya’s in the room this time, holding Karma’s hand.
“Where the hell have you been?” Kya snaps at me.
“With Beauty and the Beast, and you’ll never guess who Beauty was this time,” I tell her quickly before going to Karma’s other side and giving her my one good hand I have left until the other heals.