“Help him with what?”
“With everything, Ellen. He’s the nicest guy in the world, but he moved here, like, on a whim and really didn’t plan for it.”
“He moved here? I thought he was just visiting.”
“He wants to stay.” I switched my phone to my right ear and pushed my cart toward crates of potatoes and onions in the middle of the produce section. “He wants to be a screenwriter.”
“Doesn’t everybody?”
“Right. So he’s got about two thousand dollars saved up, with which he needs to buy food, shelter, a laptop, and screenwriting classes for the foreseeable future.”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”
“That’s what I told him.” I tossed a few onions and a big bag of Russet potatoes into my cart. “I said he could stay for two weeks, during which I’m going to help him make a budget and find somewhere to move that he can afford once he gets a job.”
“A job?”
“That’s where you come in. Can you hire him?”
“I’d be glad to. Is it legal?”
I frowned. “Not really. You’d have to pay him in cash. Keep it all under the table.”
“Okay.” Ellen didn’t sound bothered in the least. “I’m not working tonight, but I can bring him in tomorrow.”
“Great.” Some of the tension eased from my upper back. “He says he’s got some experience.”
“Sounds good. Where is he now?”
“He’s back at the house doing some yard work for me.”
“You put him to work already?” She snorted. “That’s so you.”
“Ha ha. He offered, thank you very much. He said he had experience with gardening too, although he could be back there butchering my rose bushes for all I know.”
“He’s a real jack-of-all-trades, huh?”
“Apparently.”
“Too bad he’s so unattractive.”
His handsome face popped into my mind, and I forced it out. “Unattractive?”
“It was a joke, Derek! I was kidding. For God’s sake, the guy looks like a Calvin Klein underwear billboard come to life.”
“I guess.” Don’t think about him in his underwear. Don’t think about him in his underwear. Don’t think about him in his underwear.
“You guess? I’m sorry, but you’d have to be dead not to find him attractive. And not even recently dead. Like a hundred years dead.” She sighed. “Too bad he’s gay.”
I froze, my entire body on edge. “What?”
“He’s gay. One of my servers overheard him telling some girl at the bar that last night.” She laughed. “From the sound of it, she was pretty disappointed. Poor girl.”
“Oh my God.” The store was spinning.
“What difference does it make? Are you going to be all Dad about this?”
“No! It makes no difference at all. I just didn’t realize.” My voice sounded strange to me.