I shake my head. “No, this is it. Thank you.”
“Alright, then. I’m heading out for the night,” he says, standing up.
I nod and start going through the files that he brought me. “See you tomorrow.”
Harvey pauses by the door. “You know, for what it’s worth, I liked her. Every time she came in this office, it was like you were the old Warren. Happy. Alive.”
My movements still, my shoulders fraught with tension. “Harvey—”
He cuts me off. “I know, I know. I’ll shut the fuck up about it because I know you won’t talk. Just...at least try to get some sleep tonight, okay? Don’t stay much longer, it’s already late.”
Relaxing slightly, I look at him with a nod. “Thanks, Harvey.”
He gives me a small smile before walking out, closing the door behind him.
Harvey doesn’t know the details about what happened with Trix, just that things ended between us. And despite the fact that I left my goddamn heart on that beach, I know I did the right thing.
Trix is vibrant and loving. Innocent and full of life. I should never have allowed things to escalate the way they did.
I knew as soon as she puked Moroccan stew all over my shoes that she was going to change me. I should’ve stopped things right there and then.
I should’ve put her in a cab and sent her home and vowed to never see her again. It’s my fault that things escalated and went too far. I knew she was falling for me, because I was falling for her too. But I was just too much of a selfish prick to end things.
I was enjoying my time with her too much to stop it. Being with her was like breathing after years of holding my breath.
When my father died suddenly at his desk four years ago, Brugada syndrome became a household name for me. But then testing came back, and they realized I had the same genetic mutation, rendering my piece of shit heart to be inadequate and in even worse shape than my father’s had been.
I took over the company and ran it like a well-oiled machine. My father had been the heart of this business, and I’d always worked for him, so the transition wasn’t too difficult. After all, I was always going to inherit it, and my father taught me everything he knew. But he didn’t teach me how to accept the fact that I’d have to die from the same disease he did, decades earlier than he had.
Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone if I’d had other family, but aside from Harvey, I had no one.
It was nice pretending with Trix for a little while that I did have someone.
If circumstances were different, if my life wasn’t the way it is, if my heart worked properly, then I would’ve grabbed onto Trix and never let her go.
But life isn’t fair. Despite the colors in it, it isn’t made up of fucking sunshine and rainbows. Some people have to deal with more shit shadows than others. And this is my lot in life.
The last thing I want is for my shadow to besmirch her. She’s too bright for that. Too precious.
So despite the fact that my mind torments me by replaying Trix’s heartbroken face when she begged me to love her back, I know I did what was right. Because I won’t let her put faith in my life when my damn life is forfeit. I won’t let her waste her heart on someone whose heart is giving out.
I stay another two hours at the office, working on some possible real estate ventures that I think we should look into. As I’m putting things away, I press my thumb over the scar on my chest, feeling a twinge there. It’s common now. I feel my erratic heartbeat all the time, alongside spasms of pain. Ever since my last episode that put me in the hospital, I’ve noticed things are going downhill fast.
I pack up my work laptop and put it in my bag alongside the files Harvey brought me. I’ll look over them tonight at home. I walk out and take the elevator down to the lobby. It’s late, so everybody else is already gone except for the security staff.
“Have a good evening, Mr. Knight,
” the security guard says.
“Good night, Bill,” I reply with a nod as I walk out the door and onto the sidewalk.
My driver is parked at the curb, but there’s another figure waiting by the car that stops me in my tracks.
As soon as she sees me, she marches over and places her hands on her hips, looking up at me with pure disdain.
“Blue,” I say coolly. “Good to see you again.”
“Cut the shit, Knight,” she snaps as she tosses her dreadlocks over her shoulder. “I want to know what the fuck you did to her.”