The message hadn’t gone through. I saw that when I’d gotten back my phone.
His mouth parted, his head shaking.
“What did you mean when you came in?” he asked, his swallow hard. “You said, you wouldn’t have been able to tell me something.”
Without words, I brought his fingers up to my mouth. I closed my eyes, just breathing him in, and when I opened them, I had tears in my eyes. I loved him so much, akin to actually breathing. I physically needed him.
And he’d almost taken that away.
“I want you like I’ve never wanted anything,” I said, physically unable to see him through my tears. I sniffed them back. “And if you’d died, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. If something had happened during that surgery, I wouldn’t have been able to.”
I was almost angry with him for that, that he might leave this earth without knowing the truth.
My throat constricted. “I love you, Jaxen.”
My tears blinked down as he used our fingers to touch my face. I shied away again, hating how I looked. I had to look awful.
“My face,” I started, but he wouldn’t let me go there. He pinched my chin.
“This means you’re here,” he said, his finger lifting and outlining my bruise. I knew because I’d seen it, well aware that’s what he traced. “It means you’re alive and that I can tell you I love you too. Of course, I donated my kidney to you
, Girl Scout. I’d give you my heart if I could. Hell, you already have it.”
I rasped in his palm, letting him cradle my cheek. Both of our scars meant we were here.
“They cut my hair,” I laughed, gazing up at him and I noticed he smiled too. He did through his own emotion coating his eyes, his nostrils flaring.
His thumb ghosted my lips. “And I’ve never seen you more beautiful. The shit I’m going to do to your ass when I’m out of this bed.”
I laughed again, my whole body telling me what a bad idea that was, and when he cringed too in his laughter, I knew he had the same problem. The two of us where a mess.
A beautiful goddamn mess.
“That a promise?” I asked him.
He grinned. “It’s a hell fucking yeah.”
His fingers slid into my cut hair, and where I would have normally told him not to, that he’d hurt himself even more, I didn’t fight him when he leaned over and covered my mouth. I needed that kiss like I needed my next breath.
And something told me he felt the same.
A moan against my mouth, his tongue dragging across mine. He started to deepen it before the ache left his lips and his body seized up.
“Fuck,” he breathed, twisting my hair. “I want you so bad.”
And he’d have me, but this would have to be enough for now. I gripped his gown. “Just lay with me. Sleep?”
I didn’t know how much longer we’d have together before they’d separate us, and I wanted to just lie with him for awhile.
Jaxen fingered my hair away before taking my hand with a smile. He kissed it before bringing it to his chest. “I’ll watch you. I’d love that.”
Nodding, I let him lace our hands together, closing my heavy eyes. I felt myself fall into a world of just him and me, our hands together as I drifted off to sleep. This guy would forever be a part of me, a connection that could never be broken for the rest of my life. He literally let me have a piece of him, and no one could take that away. It was ours.
It would be forever.
Epilogue
Jax