Lanky Man returns before Seth can leave. “Here we go,” he says, several bills replacing the one he left with. The pump has shut off, and he makes change for us, handing it to Seth, who hands it to me. A large woman exits the barn. She wears a blue sleeveless housedress that undulates with each step. One of her arms is almost as big as Lanky Man’s waist. I think I need to rename him Jack. Her smile reveals a missing front tooth. “This here’s my wife, Belle. Her sister tells fortunes ’round back if you’re interested.”
“Well, what do we have here!” she says, bending over and petting the lamb.
“We found him on the road half a mile back,” I tell her. “Do you know of any flocks nearby? We wanted to find his mother.”
She scratches her head. “No one raises sheep around here.”
“A flock passed by a few days ago,” Lanky Man Jack says. “On their way to market, I think. Long gone by now, though.”
“To market?” Seth mumbles.
“But he is a nice one.” Belle puts her hands around the lamb’s tummy like she is measuring him and then stands huffing from the effort. “A little skinny. I could fatten him up pretty quick, though. I’d be happy to take him off your hands.” Her smile widens to cavernous proportions.
“No, thanks!” Seth runs to the lamb and picks him up. He tucks him tightly under his arm. “Lucky’s coming with us!”
“Lucky?” I say.
“It’s a good name,” he says defensively.
“It sounds like a dog’s name.”
“Hey, we’re lucky we didn’t hit him, right?”
I shrug and roll my eyes. “Okay.”
So now we have named the lamb. Or more precisely, Seth has named the lamb.
We thank Lanky Man Jack and Belle for the gas. Seth says good-bye, but I don’t. I never do, because good-bye sounds like forever and you never know if you might see someone again. No one does. We leave to get Aidan and Mira without saying another word, the lamb and a hastily pulled tuft of grass tucked firmly between us.
Lucky.
I can’t help wonder if Seth told me part of his secret without even meaning to.
10
WE SIT IN THE CAR outside the café waiting for Aidan and Mira to emerge. Seth has forgotten about using the restroom and has suddenly become engrossed with the lamb now that he has named him. He strokes Lucky’s neck and hand-feeds him a blade of grass at a time.
I resist the urge to pull Lucky away and feed him myself. It is not wise to become attached, and I am afraid that today I have not been wise at all. I feel a momentum stirring. Aidan would dismiss me and this feeling with a disparaging remark, but now he is caught up in the momentum too, whether he likes it or not. Why else would he climb into a car and jeopardize his perfect record at school unless some things are beyond even his control?
Seth is so wrapped up in the lamb he has forgotten me for now, and that suits me fine. But Mira won’t forget. When she returns, she will expect me to pay up with my secret. I have plenty, but none that I am willing to share. She should know that by now, just as I should have known this escapade wouldn’t go well. That is the trouble with cars and small spaces. People think they must fill them with talk. Maybe that is why Hedgebrook has suited me so well for so long. Meals are brief, gardens and lawns are spacious, and classrooms strict. Even the counseling sessions I must attend are, for the most part, quiet. Some things simply should not be shared with anyone.
Mira wants a secret? I could tell them my real reason for wanting to go to Langdon, but then, that might ruin everything. My parents are in Langdon, and the others may know my parents and I are estranged. I love that word. It sounds warm and exotic, when its meaning is cold and familiar. Even words are not always what they seem.
We have only traveled eleven miles and half an hour from Hedgebrook, but we may as well be halfway around the world. Even if I wanted to go back now, I couldn’t. But what about the others? I have sealed my fate. Is it fair for me to seal theirs too? Is it possible for a day to be fair for everyone? Who knew that throwing a single day into a trash can could lead to so much?
“Do you think he needs milk?”
“You’d have to ask Aidan, the Cormo authority, that one. But he seems to be quite happy with the grass. He’s young, but he’s not a baby.”
A baby. At least give the baby a kiss, Destiny.
But I couldn’t and didn’t. He wouldn’t be a baby anymore, either. My brother’s in Langdon too. The one they kept with them.
“Des?”
I startle. “Oh. Did you say something?”
“Welcome back. I just asked what you think is taking them so long.”