There is no bicycle, only a hospital bed.
He doesn’t see me watching him.
He slumps against a wall, staring blankly at the opposite one.
I want to get out of my bed and hold him up the way he always had for me.
I want to wrap my arms around him tight so he can be happy again.
But against my will, my eyelids close and shut him out.
Denied
Jenna Angeline Fox.
I narrow down the possibilities.
Plus, Accident. Boston.
Searching for pieces with the pieces I have gained.
The Netbook blinks, and I wait for the thousands of bits to become the few I need.
A blink. Red.
Access Denied.
Denied.
Denied.
Shut out. No matter how many times I ask, it will not give it over. Why is Mr Bender allowed but I am not? What have they done to this Netbook?
Keys fly in the air. My fingers reach out. Hurry, Jenna.
The pieces speak, but there are not enough. Yet.
An Invisible Boundary
‘I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one.’ Ethan pauses from his reading of Walden and looks in my direction.
It is the second time he has paused his reading and discussion to look at me, like he is giving me an opening to interrupt him. I don’t take it, and he goes on. I am still unsure about continuing with school. It seems wrong to even be here. I am out of place. Like I am playing a game, pretending at being something I’m not. What am I? The question won’t go away. Monday morning Father had to return to Boston. It was too risky to draw attention with his absence. They both said I should resume my normal routine, too. Doesn’t a normal life go hand in hand with a normal routine?
I am not normal.
The group exchanges thoughts. Allys comments. Gabriel comments. Even Dane comments.
‘Jenna?’ Rae prompts.
I shake my head and remain silent. Rae doesn’t pressure. It is not her style. She nods at Ethan to continue. He shifts his cross-legged position on the desktop and looks at me for much too long before he finally returns to the pages in his open book.
‘Even though he left after two years, Thoreau decides his time at Walden is a success if only because: I learned this, at least, by my experiment, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind—’ He stops and looks at me again. I feel my agitation with him grow. His dark eyes drill into me and won’t turn away, waiting. ‘He will put some things behind—’ he repeats. More waiting. The silence is thunder. Dane smirks but everyone else remains quiet.
I slam my book shut and glare at him. ‘He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws will be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.’
Ethan claps his hands three times. ‘Thanks for joining us.’
He takes his teacher-collaborator role way too seriously. ‘Thanks for forcing me,’ I answer.