It’s foster care all over again. Me trying to be someone that I’m clearly not. Fitting into someone else’s mold and still coming up short.
“Don’t be silly. You look absolutely stunning and B is going to show you off.” Chelsea glances over at Bray shooting him a death look. “Aren’t you?”
“Chelsea,” he growls in a warning.
Rolling her eyes she turns back to me. “We’re all going,” she says, grabbing my hand pulling me towards the door.
When we get in the limo Chelsea and Bray talk about work and things I can’t begin to understand. They look like the fit so perfectly together. Why isn’t he with her? Maybe now that he has tried sex he’ll be more open to trying it with other people. The thought makes a sob rise in my throat, and it’s all I can do to hold it down.
I can’t do this. I’m falling too deeply into a world I can never be a part of. Into a world that Bray doesn’t seem like he wants me in.
BRAY
We’re in the limo on the way the benefit and I look over to see Rebecca is on the verge of tears. I’m such an asshole. I didn’t tell her she looked beautiful, even though she does. I’m just completely shocked by the transformation, and I don’t like it.
We’d found a rhythm the past few weeks and I’ve never been happier. My world has been neatly lined and perfectly ordered, but I know tonight is going to change all that.
Chelsea has been extra chatty since she got in the limo because she’s trying to ease the tension, something she does when she’s nervous. She and I have been friends since elementary school, and though I care for her, my feelings have never gone beyond friendship. I’ve always looked at her more as a sister than as a woman.
I’ve been so absorbed with my fairy lately that I completely forgot that Chelsea was coming tonight. Tink has consumed my every waking thought. Chelsea and I always go to this charity auction together because both of our investment firms donate generously to the children’s hospital. We’ve had this standing date for over eight years, but this year it slipped my mind. It wasn’t until Chelsea walked into my office wearing an evening dress that I remembered we were supposed to go together. I filled her in a little on the way to the penthouse but didn’t go into details as my thoughts were so scattered.
I’m aggravated with myself because my life is organized and structured, and I don’t forget things. I obsess and plan and I don’t allow things to fall through the cracks. Tonight, I forgot about Chelsea and I can see how much it hurt Rebecca. She’s looking out the window and taking deep breaths. She’s trying to hold on to her tears with iron control, and finally I snap. I can’t stand not touching her anymore. Which is insane because I’ve gone out of my way my whole life to not touch anyone, and now her touch is one that I crave.
I reach across the seat and entwine my fingers with hers. She flinches at my first touch and then closes her eyes, still facing the window. I run the tips of my fingers across her wrist and touch the large bracelet she has there.
Rebecca looks lovely tonight, classic, as if she belongs. Everything from head to toe is polished, except the bracelet. I smile at it while I touch her wrist because this has to be hers already. No way would the stylist have brought this in. So instantly, I love this bracelet more than anything in the world. It’s a cuff around her wrist made of white plastic and covered in sparkles. It’s the only thing on her body that looks like her, so I keep rubbing her wrist and looking at it.
Rebecca finally turns to look at me, and we lock eyes. Chelsea is still chatty, yet we’ve both tuned her out. In this moment, it’s only my fairy and me alone in the world.
“I forgot to tell you that you look lovely tonight, Tink.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you Chelsea was coming but I forgot that too. You seem to distract me.”
With that, she gives me a small smile, and I feel some of the ice between us chip away.
“Please don’t be upset with me. I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”
She touches my cheek and gives me a little nod, telling me she’s okay. She might not be over it completely, but I can sense she’s trying to forgive me.
I look at Rebecca and I can’t help but hate the way she’s dressed up. She doesn’t look like my Tink. She’s wearing too much makeup, and her hair is all wrong. She took out the colors I love so much and I miss them already. Her clothes are too formal and the heels look uncomfortable on her little feet. I want to take them off and rub her toes. My chest gets tight and I can’t get over the weird feeling inside me right now.
I take a deep breath and realize my anxiety is back. I go through my mental checklist and realize it’s because I’m taking Rebecca into the snake pit tonight. There will be so many people who will judge her, and I’m a nervous ball of energy. I never want her around some of these people and I’ve tried to protect her as long as possible. I’ve avoided taking her out in public to keep her out of the press. There’s always some paparazzi stalking me, trying to get the next big scoop, so I’ve hidden her to try to keep that part of my life away from her. It’s not that I haven’t wanted her out in the world with me, it’s just that I want to shelter her from everything bad in my life, including these assholes with more money than decency at this function tonight. These snobs love to gossip and I don’t like giving them a new subject. My Tinkerbell is more precious to me than that.