“What most do not know is that they were traveling to London because Edmond had been caught in some mischief with his friends and hauled before the magistrate. It was not truly serious, but of course, my father was determined to ensure that Edmond was fully aware of his displeasure. They…never made it.”
Her fingers tightened on his hand. “Oh, Stefan.”
“It was horrible for me, but even worse for Edmond. He blames himself, you see. In his mind, our parents would still be alive if not for his mistakes. I am not certain he will ever be able to truly bury his guilt and forgive himself.” He gave a shake of his head. “Until he does, he can’t risk allowing himself to care for another.”
Her heart twisted with a sharp, wrenching pain at the thought of a young Edmond closing himself off from the world and believing he was to blame for the death of his parents.
How could anyone live with such a heavy guilt?
It would be like a disease slowly eating away at his soul.
Without warning, she recalled his outrage at Thomas Wade’s intrusion into his home, his fury when he spoke of Stefan being in danger and the sharp terror on his countenance when she had been shot on the balcony.
“He fears he will fail them. That’s why he never allows others close.”
Stefan heaved a sad sigh. “I have tried to do what I can, but so far
it has not been enough.”
“I do not think that Edmond is the only one who carries guilt, Stefan.” She reached up to lightly touch his cheek. “I am certain that you have done everything possible to help your brother.”
His own hand lifted, covering her fingers and pressing them even tighter against his face.
“Perhaps, but it does not make it any easier to know he suffers.”
“No, I suppose it does not.”
“In any event, I just thought it might ease the tension between you and Edmond if you understood why he pushes others away.”
“I am not certain that anything can actually ease the tension,” she said wryly. “And no doubt it is for the best.”
“Brianna?”
Strangely comforted by his touch, she offered a smile. “Yes?”
“I want you to know that you always have a home here at Meadowland.”
Her breath caught at his soft words. She had been alone for so very long. To know that, whatever the future might hold, she would always have a home was as precious as the finest jewels.
“Thank you, Stefan. That means more to me than you can ever know.”
“It is the least I can do after…”
She shifted to press her fingers against his lips. “That is all in the past.”
He lightly grasped her wrist, his thumb gently rubbing over the steady pulse.
“And my offer is not entirely selfless, you know.” His hand tightened on her wrist as she threatened to pull away, his lips moving against the tips of her fingers. “You have grown into an incredibly beautiful woman, Brianna. So beautiful, you take my breath away.”
She stilled, not at all certain how to react to his astonishing words.
“Stefan?”
Maintaining his grip on her wrist, he turned her hand so he could place a gentle, lingering kiss on her palm before releasing her.
“I realize that you have always seen me as a friend, but I am a man as well, my dear. One that is quite capable of appreciating the charms of an intelligent, lovely young maiden. Especially a maiden who has always owned a very large part of my heart. No, do not say anything,” he interrupted the words trembling on her lips as he rose to his feet. He gazed down at her with an expression she had never thought to see on his face. The expression of a man physically aware of a woman. “I merely wished you to know that I am here for you, should you have need. I must return to the house. Will you walk with me?”
She gave a slow bemused shake of her head. She could still feel the imprint of Stefan’s touch upon her wrist. Not the searing, dangerous sensations that Edmond created, but more a comforting warmth that was not at all unpleasant.