“What did I do?” I hear him mumble. “I should have listened to your father.”
Out of all the things I thought he might say, that isn’t one of them. Not even close. In fact, talking about my father while we are both naked after making love seems completely wrong.
“Did he tell you to stay away from me?” I wouldn’t be surprised by that. It’s the only thing I can really imagine my father would say. He’s never scared men off before, but I don’t normally engage in their affections either, so there has never been a need.
“No. Said you’re just like your mother.” The way he says it, with such distaste, makes me push myself farther away from him, almost falling off the other side of the bed. Grabbing the sheet, I wrap it around me to cover up my body. He makes no move to look at me as he hangs his head and looks down at the floor.
My father has said many times that I’m like my mother, that I seem to just draw attention to myself. But she sought hers, and I don’t. He’s often said that I just light up a room. I’d always believed it was just a father doting on his daughter. Of course he thought I lit up the room. But I don’t think that’s what Calder means. Not with his tone of voice, the bitter anger that seems to lace them. No, he’s talking about the other whispers I’ve heard about my mother. For some reason, I want to hear him say it. Maybe because no one has ever said it to me before. It’s always been danced around or avoided.
“And what does that mean?” I’m surprised by the firmness of my own words. I’m shocked that I don’t stumble over them. I meet him head on.
This time, he does turn to look at me. His bright eyes bore into mine. The look is cold, all that sweetness from last night long gone. So cold I almost wonder if I made it up to begin with. That it never could have been in those eyes.
“I think you know what I mean, Felicity. It’s no big secret about your mother. Hopping from one bed to another. Do you so easily fall into bed with men? Do you do this for all of your father’s clients? That why he seems to be so popular?”
I can feel the blood drain from my face. Yes, I’ve heard the rumors. On some level I’ve had a dislike for my mother, but another part of me, the child deep inside me, still craves something from her. When my father said I was like my mother, it made me smile because I filled it with a sweetness. That I had a little part of my mother in me was a cause for happiness for me. I know it’s silly, she abandoned me, after all, but I clung to it for some reason.
Is that what my father told him? Maybe that’s why he wants me so close. He can keep a better eye on me. Make sure I’m not too much like her.
“I believe it was you that climbed into my bed.”
“A bed you easily welcomed me into,” he throws back. I don’t get his anger. What the heck changed from last night to this morning?
“Well then, you better be on your way. I’m sure someone else will be filling the spot shortly.” I don’t know where that came from, but it felt good. More than good. I let the anger take control because if I let myself feel anything else, I’ll be crumbling into a babbling, crying-girl mess. I won’t give him that.
No, I’ve already given him too much. More than I’ve ever given anyone, only to have it ripped away from me so quickly.
He shoots up from the bed, turning to look at me full on in all his naked glory. Rage lights up his face. I feel a moment of triumph when I see what looks like jealousy flash across his face. I jump to the other side of the bed, taking the sheet with me, wrapping it around my naked body.
“Oh, trust me. If anyone is going to be fucking you in this bed, it will be me. You can cancel your fucking list while your little ass is still in New York. Hell, indefinitely. I’ll be the only man between those greedy thighs.”
“Get out!” I scream, hoping my father isn’t home. He’s taking what I thought had been lovemaking and turning it into something else. Something I want no part of. “You’ll never touch me again.”
“Oh, I’m going to do more than touch you. I might have had a little too much to drink when I stumbled in here last night, but I’m seeing things all too clearly now in the light of day. I held myself back, but I might as well take what you seem to be throwing around. No sense in driving myself crazy by not just taking it.”