Greg didn’t laugh.
She knew his eyes were still on her as she made her way to the back door.
CHAPTER NINE
HAVING TESS HERE, in his house, felt right. He’d had women to dinner and occasionally even to spend the night wherever he was living before, but never thought of them as belonging.
Sheer desperation gripped him. No bonds in his life had ever lasted, except for the one with his mother, and that was eroded by bitterness.
His mother might have had nothing to do with Sheila’s death. And it was true that even solid marriages often ended after the death of a child. He and Bran, in their misery and stubbornness, had deepened the split.
But Zach had tried again, with his first stepfather and a younger stepsister. Once Mom had announced she was leaving him, packed and taken Zach with her, he’d never seen either again. Her next husband, Lowell, had sensed a boy’s need and tried to be a father to him. Mom had taken care of that, too, leaving Zach...numb.
I’ve been numb ever since, he thought bemusedly. He didn’t want to feel attachment for anyone. Inevitably, it resulted in hurt. Mom had been every bit as effective as that crap they gave alcoholics to make them puke when they took a drink.
He shouldn’t have invited Tess over. She tugged at him and that made her dangerous. She could make him feel. But he didn’t have in him the ability to trust that what other people called love would last. And yet his need to be with her seemed to be more powerful than his fears.
At least the last time she’d been here they’d been surrounded by other people. He hadn’t given her a personal tour, so that now a picture of her in every single room was burned into his brain.
Upstairs he watched as she stopped in the middle of the larger room and turned slowly in place.
“This is wonderful. I love all the interesting angles the ceiling forms.” She sent him a sly look. “It would be perfect for wallpaper.”
It was when she stepped into the smaller room that her face lit with joy. “Oh, Zach! You added a skylight.”
“Yep.” It was a hell of a lot easier to add a skylight during the roofing process than later.
That’s not what he was thinking about now, though.
Something about the late-afternoon light pouring down on her made her scattering of freckles stand out. Because of them, he noticed that small bump on the bridge of her nose, too. Most often, he was too aware of her sexy mouth and riveting eyes to see the girl-next-door quality of the rest of her face. Now, gazing upward, she looked...natural. Real. There was no artificial construct to her unlike—
He frowned.
Unlike his mother, an undeniably beautiful woman, but one who had always used a lot of makeup, hair coloring and styling, clothes, whatever tools she could find to enhance that beauty. Exercise wasn’t for its own sake or because it was good for her health. Nope, she saw it as body sculpting.
His mother struck poses. She was beautifully made up before she came to the breakfast table.
His mother didn’t let men spend the night until they married her. As he got older and more cynical, Zach had wondered how shocked those husbands were the first time they saw the woman behind the mask.
Tess, he thought, never wore one. And yet she was beautiful.
He’d been silent so long she turned her head in gentle inquiry.
Talk. Distract her. Distract me.
“I’m still debating between putting a large bathroom in here versus a small one and walk-in closet.”
Seemingly oblivious to his turmoil, she said promptly, “The closet has my vote. Otherwise you’ll almost have to build one tucked under the eaves in the bedroom somehow, but I like the idea of bookcases and a window seat along that wall.” She pointed.
The minute she said it, he was sold. He’d had in mind built-in bookcases somewhere, but hadn’t thought of a window seat.
In fact, as they finished the tour, she gave Zach several good ideas. She had both an amazing eye and a practical bent. She knew what could be done and how much it would cost to do it. His invitation tonight might not have been so dumb, after all.
This wouldn’t be the first time he’d liked a woman he slept with, Zach reflected. That didn’t mean anything lasting came of it.
But along with a fervent hope they actually made it to bed, Zach was still edgy. The fact that spending time with her had even set him to analyzing his own emotional state wasn’t a good sign.