I looked up obediently and met his gaze, but there was no silent conversation this time. In the blink of an eye, I was no longer on the floor. I was in his arms, wrapped so tight I could tell he needed to hold on as much as I needed to be held. The sob that I’d kept trapped in my chest struggled free and escaped, but safe in Derek’s arms, it had lost some of its intensity.
I even became aware of a new feeling inside me. Pride. As terrified as I’d been, I’d done it. How many other women who’d been through what I had could have done what I did? How many of them would have been strong enough to trust another person as much as I’d just trusted Derek?
I was getting better. I was healing. I had known what I’d needed, and I’d been right.
“It’s OK. I’m OK,” I tried to reassure him, meeting his gaze as he lowered my feet back to the ground. And while some of the tension seemed to leave him, much of it didn’t. Something else was wrong—no doubt, something to do with those men. “What’s going on?”
“That man’s name is Mateo Lopez. Marcos had met with him several times before, but I didn’t know who he was until today. Scar, he was Marcos’ boss, and he knows. He didn’t come out and say it, but he knows I killed Marcos. I didn’t think so at first, but I’m sure now.”
Guilt and fear rained down in equal measures. I was the reason Marcos was dead. Derek had killed him for me. And if that man knew it, we weren’t safe. But then…
“Why did he come here?” Shouldn’t that man have wanted to kill us?
“He came here to toy with me and draw me into a trap,” he replied matter-of-factly, as if we were talking about the weather.
The significance of what he said wasn’t lost on me and I swayed on my feet. If Derek’s arms hadn’t still been around me, I would have fallen on my ass.
It wasn’t over. There were still people who wanted us dead. Well, they would want Derek dead. God only knew what they’d do to me.
No, I wasn’t going to let that happen. Not again. If they caught me, I’d find some way to end my life long before they had the chance to turn me into a beaten and broken whore. Maybe Derek was right, and any woman’s body would have responded the same way mine had. That didn’t change the fact mine had betrayed me in the worst way, and I wouldn’t give it the opportunity to do it again.
“What are we going to do?” I asked bluntly. I needed to know the plan so I could also be making arrangements for my own plan if the need arose. I would do whatever he needed me to do. I would do whatever it took to keep Derek alive, just like I knew he would do for me. But I wasn’t naïve and foolish anymore. There were things worse than death, and so long as it didn’t interfere with keeping him alive, I wasn’t going to experience those things ever again.
“You’re not going to do anything, Scar. This is my mess to clean up, not yours.”
He wanted me to do nothing? “I don’t think so,” I said flatly. “You can’t expect me to sit idly by while you get yourself killed. Even if I was fine with that—which I’m not—what do you think is going to happen to me once you’re dead? Do you think they’ll just let me go on my merry way?”
“No, but you’ll be thousands of miles away in case anything goes wrong. I’ve kept myself alive for a long time. I have no intention of stopping. Not now that you’re…” His words trailed off.
“Now that I’m what? Pathetic and broken? Too weak to take care of myself? Is that what you were going to say?” I don’t know why I was getting angry, but I refused to let him do this on his own just because I was a wreck.
“No Pet, that isn’t what I was going to say,” he said. His voice was calm and cold, and it instilled me with the strong urge to lower myself down onto my knees, but I didn’t.
“Then what? Now that I’m…what?”
“My world. Now that you’re my world, I have no intention of lying down and dying. I don’t know how the hell I could ever possibly deserve you. Hell, I’m not convinced you’re not going to wake up one day and realize what a monster I am. But for however long you’re here, I don’t plan on missing it because I’m dead.”
“Oh.” My cheeks flamed hot and I felt like an idiot for exploding like I did. I dropped to my knees. “I’m sorry, Master. But still, I can’t do nothing.”