“Tom was a better shot than me. It don’t matter when a man has enough grit and determination. Why would you even care to do that? I did what I did, and I have to live with that.”

“Because you can’t take care of yourself, that’s why. If he came after me, I’d just sell him some lead, and that would be the end of it,” Cole said and shoved at Ned before pulling his coat closer around him. Perhaps it was time to get the winter one out of the saddlebags. It got him so damn cold to think of Ned resting at the bottom of a deep grave with nothing but maggots to keep him company.

Ned groaned and shook his head. “You make no sense. Just a minute ago you told me you won’t even go to Denver with me. I don’t know what you want anymore, but I will do right by the kid. Make sure the orphanage takes him in, and if he comes after me in ten years, then so be it. I don’t even know where I’ll be then.”

Cole should’ve said no, but he didn’t want to. If he left Ned on his own with this mess, he’d be forever wondering what became of him, and what he needed was peace. “I’ll stick around until he’s in safe hands. And we’ll discuss that other thing, because you don’t deserve to die for what you’ve done. If you did, I’d have slit your throat already,” he said, suddenly longing for the burning sensation of booze rolling down his throat. But they didn’t have any, so he settled on watching the fire while everything inside him buzzed.

Ned laid down just inches away. Did he even understand the torment his presence provoked?

“You’d miss me?”

“What do you think?” mumbled Cole, unwilling to commit to neither truth nor lying, so he elected to have Ned understand his answer however the hell he pleased.

Ned met his gaze without the hazy tiredness that clouded it before. “I think you didn’t let Lars fuck you.”

Cole raised his hands. “That’s no secret, is it?”

He could punch that stupid smirk off Ned’s face.

“Goodnight,” Ned said and closed his eyes, leaving Cole to the agonizing thoughts that wouldn’t let him sleep.

Chapter 18

Tommy, because that was what he and Ned agreed to call the boy, was a sullen, subdued child, and the fact that he didn’t speak made him seem even more so. He seemed to enjoy collecting rocks and carving on trees, and he often walked off from their campsites to pursue those interests. But while Cole remained wary every time, the boy always came back.

It was a relief that he no longer tried to run off the moment his new guardians looked the other way. The last thing they needed was a feral child that required handcuffs and a muzzle, but on the other hand Cole didn’t feel comfortable around a boy of only seven, who’d already been so beaten down by life.

While mute for the most part—he could make a few sounds—Tommy wasn’t deaf, so Cole couldn’t speak freely in his presence. Not that he wanted to talk to Ned about the fight they’d had in the cabin. Their relationship was an unresolved question where they remained civil to each other, yet didn’t share the intimacy from before. A week into this damn trek, and the questions in Cole’s mind became denser each day. Were they still lovers? Were they reluctant travel companions? Old friends on one last trip?

Cole’s dick knew the answer, but it didn’t get a vote.

He’d gotten rather used to touching Ned whenever he pleased and accepting his caresses in return. It made sense that such an abrupt break from satisfaction always being at hand left him somewhat jittery and tense, but when he looked at the damp long johns clinging to Ned’s buttocks like a second layer of skin, his thoughts wandered off to a particular time in the cabin when they’d soaked in hot water, and he teased Ned’s hole with his fingers only to spontaneously try an obscene caress a certain man enjoyed to unleash on Cole during their two-day long acquaintance.

Ned had been reluctant at first, but once Cole began lavishing his opening with his tongue, he’d gone from embarrassed to so horny he all but begged Cole to take him. And do it hard.

Such things had no place in the presence of a child, but little Tommy, who waded in the shallow lake alongside Ned and showed a rare smile, wasn’t privy to Cole’s thoughts anyway. So Cole occupied his kiss-starved lips with the harmonica, adding his own bit of music to the birdsongs.

High up in the mountains, even May had been cool, but down here, June embraced them with the warmth of sunshine, and the joyful bloom of flowers in the lush grass. They ended up avoiding main routes because of the bounties on their heads, and the slow journey took them past vistas so majestic Cole didn’t even mind all the stops Ned claimed were for Tommy’s benefit.

Tags: K.A. Merikan Dig Two Graves M-M Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net