But that was fine. Yev wasn’t the type to fight reality, no matter how difficult it was, and kept his expectations low. A man ended up with less wounds in his heart that way.
A terrible, silent whisper at the back of his head told him that Burian and Father stood above them, breathing loudly as they waited for Yev to awake. He went stiff and, unable to take it any longer, looked up to see only the wooden slope of the ceiling. He’d have loved to go back to sleep, but his cocoon of contentment had already been cracked, and once his heart began beating frantically, as if there were reasons for alarm, it became clear he wouldn’t fall asleep again.
Trying not to awaken Radek, Yev slid out of bed, but his head remained heavy as if it were a sponge soaked in syrup. He ended up parking his ass on a stool by the wall, leaned back, and took in the lines of Radek’s body. The sun peeking from under the curtains gave his long hair a golden shade, and the flesh on show—uncovered where Yev had lain, from the shoulders to the twin globes of Radek’s ass—was sweet cream topped with tiny drops of milk chocolate.
Yev’s mouth watered just thinking about the tang of blood on his tongue. Had he done it? Broken through skin like some beast? He’d later licked the wounds to accelerate the healing process but still felt guilty over hurting Radek, who already had so much on his plate.
The boy’s spine was long, an arrow pointing to the amazing curves where Yev had left his seed last night, to that tight, warm, generous hole. The sides of his skull burned when he remembered, like through fog, the moment the knot had gotten stuck inside Radek, offering no way out. He’d claimed that boy.
Claimed him.
And now he wanted to do it again. To do what any werewolf instinctively wanted. Why was this such a sin? Because they wouldn’t have children from it? Burian and Yulia have been trying to procreate for years to no success.
Because he was supposed to be dead and gone, his brain offered without prompting. Radek was an outsider who’d witnessed too much of the pack’s dealings. If the other werewolves knew Yev not only let him live, but also revealed his animal form to him, he’d be dead too, not just banished. But would that really happen if they knew Radek was a fox changeling and had secrets of his own?
Ember had been such a cute little addition to Yev’s life in the past weeks, but Radek was so much more than a pet could be. Sexy, vulnerable, sulky, chaotic, and so bratty Yev wanted to put him over the knee and spank him. Which wasn’t an unpleasant prospect at all.
Yev had never had a lover capable of understanding his nature, who he could explain his dick to without freaking them out. Maybe… maybe he could convince the pack that having a fox shifter as an associate was useful due to his small size?
He was getting ahead of himself, since his family didn’t want him to fuck a man in the first place and Radek’s other form wouldn’t have made a difference to that problem. A man could never be another male werewolf's mate. Not because of prejudice. The subtle transition just didn’t physically happen, and that was that.
One golden eye peeked at Yev from under all that copper hair when Radek slowly moved his forehead against the pillow. Yev froze, pinned to the stool like prey that knew it was being assessed for devouring. His mind raced with questions, because he shouldn’t be allowing himself any of this. He should be calling last night a mistake, apologize, and move on, but what if this was his last opportunity for sexual fulfillment? Would it really be such a crime to enjoy this while it lasted, and also help Radek adapt to his new life while he was at it? Waves of tenderness washed over him every time he looked at that stump, and he wished to wrap the boy in a tight cocoon where he could always be protected.
“Morning.”
Radek pulled the comforter up, hiding his bare flesh, but smiled. “Spying, are we?”
“Just… you looked nice in the light,” Yev said, already beating himself up over blurting something so stupid. He was almost forty and had been with more guys than he could count, so what the hell was this mindless blabber?
And yet it made his heart skip a beat to see Radek’s smile widen. “And you look like a snack. I’ve been waiting so long to see that dick again.” He turned under the comforter to face him, and Yev could’ve sworn specks of gold twinkled in his eyes.
This was a clear invitation, and it only took Yev a moment of hesitation to accept it. He rolled into bed and placed his hand on Radek’s back, his mind still racing with the possibilities and dangers this moment offered. At this point, he could still tell Radek their night together had been a mistake brought upon the full moon, but if he let this… thing continue, he’d risk discovery, because there was a possibility werewolves would smell them on each other. Was it worth the risk?