No such luck.
How was he to navigate this? Not only was he not particularly good at math but also didn’t know the tax laws. He didn’t even know how to act at the fancy party he was supposed to attend in two weeks.
He opened the door to his room and barely held back a scream when his gaze zeroed in on a tall figure leaning against the window. But when the intruder didn’t charge at him and instead made a slow turn, moonlight caught the skull outline on his face.
It was Caspian.
Without thinking, Gunner locked the door, rushed across the room and hugged him, hiding his face between the firm pecs. Caspian smelled faintly of smoke, but despite the distress raging inside Gunner, the familiar scent didn’t awaken the need to ask for a cigarette.
For a moment, Caspian remained stiff, but before Gunner could have questioned him, thick arms settled around him like an impenetrable ring of safety.
“What was that about? Why are you yelling at them?” Caspian asked.
“I… I just…” Gunner rubbed his cheek against Caspian’s T-shirt as he fought through the tightness in his throat. “I suggested I might want to develop the piano thing,” he mumbled. “They sent you to the lessons. Shouldn’t they be happy for me?”
Caspian’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, but they’re your parents now, so don’t raise your voice at them. Put yourself in their shoes. I’ve been excited to start working with Dad, and I told them that many times. It’s a good job. Good money. Then, all of a sudden their son starts acting like a different person, so cut them some slack.”
Gunner stepped away with guilt chewing at his insides. “I don’t know how. My dad was a mean son of a bitch, and we always yelled at each other. And they’re just… just so nice. I don’t know how they manage to keep their cool like that.”
Caspian bit his lip, watching him without a word. His mouth went slack, and he frowned but no longer seemed angry.
Gunner didn’t need his pity. He opened his mouth to say something mean, but Caspian offered him a smile that warmed even the cool moonlight. “You play beautifully. You told me you knew how to play, but I wasn’t expecting this. You gave quite the concert.”
Gunner bit back a shy smile, struck by a compliment that for once wasn’t about his physical attributes, and ran his fingers through his hair. He’d been worried about the drug deal going wrong and started playing to soothe his nerves, and… well, it hadn’t been meant for Caspian’s ears. He’d half-expected for Caspian to laugh at his attempts at the piano, but got praise and validation instead.
“Thanks. I… I always wanted to be able to play. I mean, not always-always. But when I was still a kid I used to have this boxing trainer, Mr. Wagner, and his wife taught piano lessons. Their house was always filled with classical music, and they got me into it. It was something that was only my own, you know? I never told anyone, not even my girlfriends.”
Caspian frowned. “Why didn’t you learn?”
Gunner stared at him. “What? You know where I live. If anyone found out, it would hound me forever. Also, I don’t have access to a piano. Even if Mrs. Wagner wanted to make me her charity case, they eventually moved out. And when would I even find the time for practice? I was always doing shit for my dad, and had to take care of Noah once he was gone.”
Caspian scowled, but he shook his head moments later. “It’s a shame. You have real talent. When I play, I just follow the notes correctly, but you bring the music to life. It’s incredible.”
Gunner huffed, unsure whether he should beam with pride or punch something. Because yeah, it was a fucking shame. Not much he could do about it now. “I just imagine things that fit the melody and let my feelings take over. I listen to classical music when I need to calm down, when I’m happy, when I’m sad. It’s… like I can feel it flowing through me. And for the first time, I can add some value to it too. Interpret it in my own way.”
Caspian’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he sat on the edge of the bed with a slight frown that was barely visible in the dark room. “I wouldn’t have pinned you for the type to do that. Since you always seemed to value everything that was hyper-masculine. If you believe it’s okay to be a slim artistic kid, why did you bully me so much?” he asked softly, keeping his gaze on Gunner’s chest. In that moment of vulnerability, even the facial tattoo couldn’t hide who he was.
Gunner twisted his fingers, uncomfortable with the memories flooding his head as if the dam keeping them out of mind had broken down. “Remember that motorcycle club fire years ago?”