I hear another humorless laugh followed by a small thump on the wall like he hit it lightly with his fist. I flinch. “Fine. Okay, Jessie. Glad to know I’m not your type. I’ll get out of your hair now.”
I put my hand flat against the door. “Drew, wait!”
His footsteps stop. “What?”
“The lake house weekend with the Greens…” I wince at the fact that I’m bringing this up at a time like this, but I have to.
His voice sounds dark and clipped when he says, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll find a way out of it.”
I pinch my eyes shut, knowing I have no right to ask this but wanting to anyway. I’m too scared to have Drew in the way I want him, but I’m also not ready to give him up completely either. “Actually, it’s near my grandaddy’s house. I was thinking maybe we could…make another deal. I’ll go with you to the lake house for a night if you drive up with me to visit my grandaddy after? It doesn’t have to be more than a night. I just want to check on him. He knows the truth now too, so you don’t have to pretend to be my fiancé.” Drew doesn’t answer, so I keep talking. “And I miss him but don’t feel comfortable driving that far alone at this stage in my pregnancy.” Some of that is true. Not the last part, but I know Drew won’t argue.
“Geez, Jessie. We’re friends—or at least I’m yours. Not everything has to be exactly even between us at all times. Just ask me to go with you and I will.”
No. Then I would feel beholden to him, and I don’t want that. I want to remain as emotionally untethered from Drew as possible. “Please, Drew. This is the only way I feel comfortable. Just say we have a deal.”
He’s quiet. So quiet I think he walked away. He SHOULD walk away. There’s no reason for him to continue to be kind to me, and maybe on another level I’m trying to force his hand, force him to show me he’s just as terrible as my dad and Jonathan and he will put his own needs over mine forever and always.
Of course Drew doesn’t work that way though.
“Fine. We have a deal. But I’m done after this one. No more deals.”
Drew walks away, and I sit on the edge of my bed for a full twenty minutes just staring at the wall. I put my hand on my belly and feel the baby kick. I think he or she is telling me I made a mistake, but I can’t be certain. The little traitor. But honestly, I don’t blame him or her. I would take Drew’s side too.
I finally get myself up, change into my PJs, and leave my room, on tiptoe all the way down the stairs. I like to eat when I’m upset, and right now, I plan to scoop up the entire contents of the pantry and carry it upstairs like I’m a chipmunk preparing for winter.
At the bottom of the steps, I pause. Drew is in his room with the door shut, but I can still hear his voice. Maybe it’s just in my head because I know the conversation we just had, but he sounds like a sad man trying to convince someone he’s happy.
“Hey, Mia. This is Drew Marshall. You wrote your number on my coffee the other day at the coffee shop.” Wrote her name on his cup?! Who does that! What a hussy. “Yeah, sorry it took me so long to give you a call. I had kind of a crazy week.”
I’m not spying. I’m not. My ear is only pressed to his door because I thought I heard an evil spirit in the wall and I might need to call someone about purging it.
Drew chuckles at something Hussy said. “Cool. Yeah, so I was wondering if you’re free sometime this week for dinner? I’d love to take you out.” Oh, would you, Drew? Would you just LOVE to?
I bet this is all a ruse. A sham. He knows I’m eavesdropping and is making this all up just to make me regret turning him down. Well TOUGH, buddy. I’ve never felt better. Lying to Drew about not flirting with him was the best decision I ever made. I’m happy to not have to worry about fighting him off anymore. He can go out with Hussy and have a fabulous time for all I care!
Good riddance!
Drew’s voice is a mumble after that, too quiet and far away to hear what he’s saying, and I wonder if I can go get a glass to help me listen through the door before he hangs up. Nope, too late.
The door opens and Drew stands there without a smile, expressionless. “Eavesdropping?”
“Yes. Planning a date twenty minutes after getting rejected by me?”
“Yes.” Not even a hint of shame from this one. “Is there a set amount of time I’m supposed to wait after being rejected?”
“Not at all.”
“Great.” He steps slightly closer. “Because I’m going out with a woman later this week.” I try not to flinch at his words. He must notice something, though, because his demeanor softens a little. “Jessie…I’ll ask you one more time if there’s something between us. If you say yes, I will gladly cancel with her. But if you say no—”
“No,” I say quickly, ripping the Band-Aid off. It’s going to leave an ugly red mark on my skin, but it’s what I had to do.
Drew gives a final nod. That’s that. We’re done here. Show’s over, folks.
“Oh, hey girl!” I tell Lucy when she hops in the passenger seat of my car. “You look adorable in your sparkly little cocktail dress!”
Her bright blue eyes beam over at me. “Thanks! Oh my gosh, I’m so excited you want to go out tonight. I have needed a girls night for so long.”
“Yeah, you have! And you deserve it.” I sound like a valley girl in an old 90s movie, but I’m not sorry.