“Amber, hey, it's me again,” Tamara's voice rang from the answering machine downstairs, “I guess you're still asleep or maybe you went out with your dad or something. Call me back later. I just got back from shopping with mom and think I need therapy. Later BFF! Call me!”
Amber almost called her back. Almost. Tamara would know instantly that she was having a dumps day and would attempt to cheer her up. Usually, chatting with her BFF would improve Amber's mood, but today she wanted to wallow in it. The world had become a bleak place since she had decided last night to give up on Joshua Nelson forever.
Amber deleted Tamara's message from the machine and grabbed a trash bag from under the kitchen sink before heading back upstairs.
“It's time,” Amber said and opened her closet door.
Since fifth grade Amber had been collecting what she called her “Joshua Nelson memorabilia.” Her dad had no knowledge of the secret collection that was hidden in a shoe box in the back of her closet. Only Tamara knew of the stack of school photos, pictures cut from the school newspaper, every article about the basketball team from this year and last.
Amber's collection was started by accident. In fifth grade Joshua had given some of the girls his school photos. Amber was not one of those girls. She had never been popular enough to be noticed by Joshua, but one of the girls had dropped a photo outside of the school and Amber found it. She hid it in her backpack and never told anyone about it, except Tamara.
“I've waited for you Joshua,” Amber whispered looking through the photos and articles, “and I can't wait any longer. The spell didn't work. This is starting to drive me crazy. I'm done.”
Amber placed each photo and article into the bag one at a time. She studied each photo and read each article word by word, saying goodbye. Hot tears fell down her cheeks. This was the right thing to do, what she knew she needed to do, but it still hurt.
“I don't want to be a hundred and still pinning over you!” Amber shouted and dropped the now empty shoebox into the bag.
Amber reached blindly into the back of her closet feeling around for any photos that may have fallen out of the box. Her hands landed on a stack of thin books.
“My yearbooks,” she grinned to herself.
Amber always forgot they were back there until it was time to buy a new one. Every year she'd get her friends and some of her classmates to sign the newest edition and add it to the stack at the back of the closet. It had been her tradition since first grade. Her dad joked about it, saying if any of her classmates ever became famous she would be rich.
Not in the mood to be overly sentimental Amber only retrieved the most recent from the stack. She dropped to her knees and opened it. Page by page, memories surfaced. A full page was dedicated to her and Tamara's hippie costumes from last year. Every year the school hosted a Halloween event with a history theme. Last year was blast from the past.
Amber skipped to the section of the yearbook which held their school photos. Hers was always on the first page and last year's still looked good. She had worn a light green sundress with her hair in ringlets. Remembering she still didn't know 'Mr. Kirk's' name, she flipped to the pages which held the Ks and scanned the photos. Quickly her fingers moved over the photos until it settled on one. That was definitely the guy she was looking for.
“JOSHUA KIRK” was printed under his photo.
Amber laughed and slammed the book shut.
“Another Joshua?” she said as she slid the book back into its rightful place.
Amber slept in on Sunday morning, waking just after eleven. She took a shower and blow dried her hair before she headed down for breakfast. The house was quiet making Amber wonder if her dad was still reading the Sunday paper. Taped to the kitchen counter she found a note.
“Amber,
Going out to play golf. Money in cookie jar for pizza. You can invite Tamara over if you want. See you in time for dinner.”
Love, Dad
Amber retrieved the money from the cookie jar and studied the fine printing of the money while contemplating whether she should phone Tamara or not. If she didn't Tamara would give her the cold shoulder on Monday.
“Hello?” Mrs. Page answered.
“Hey, Mrs. Page, this is Amber, is Tamara around?” Amber asked, forcing a smile, even though her brain was still clouded with morning fog.
“Just a second,” Mrs. Page said and moved the receiver away from her mouth.
“Hey, what's up?” Tamara asked.
“Want to come over for pizza?” Amber asked.
“Can't. My grandparents are here,” Tamara said.
“Okay, I'll see you at school then,” Amber said, holding back a sigh of relief. She loved her BFF, but she needed some time alone, having recently given up something that had been part of her life for the last six years.
“Later,” Tamara said and hung up.