Thankfully he doesn’t.
My heels carry me faster than I thought possible. The need to flee, to escape, spurring me on.
Eyes forward, I focus on the crowded dance floor in front of me, hoping to get lost in the mix.
Reaching the mass of undulating bodies, I start to squeeze my way through, aware of Chad’s eyes boring into my back the entire time. A cold sweat breaks out across my skin and the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Shit. I think I’m starting to come down from my adrenaline high.
“You better hope Mr. Ericsson fires you tomorrow!” Chad suddenly bellows behind me and my stomach lurches.
Not knowing any other way of responding, I simply lift my hand and flip him off. It’s not the most eloquent of comebacks, but it’s all I’ve got.
Pushing through the packed crowd, it’s a tight squeeze making my way back to Clara. Bodies brush against mine, setting off all my internal sensors and alarms. After that encounter with Chad, I’m really starting to feel fucked up.
As I move deeper and deeper into the crowd, the music grows louder. The bass pounding between my ears. All the flashing and strobing lights disorient the hell out of me. It’s a struggle just to keep from tripping.
Finally reaching the middle, I spot Clara and Mason and start to push my way towards them. As I get closer though, I start to notice how much they’re wrapped up in each up other and stop.
Dancing close with their hands on each other’s hips, they’re staring deeply into each other’s eyes.
They move as one. They move as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
It’s so damn romantic, I swear they’re about to make a baby or something.
Feet glued to the floor, I don’t know how long I watch them, but I become entirely too aware of this deep, hollow ache growing in my chest. Someone bumps into me and another person steps on my toes, but I’m in such internal pain, I can’t seem to move.
I’m happy for my best friend, I am, but I want what she has. I don’t want Mason. No. Never. He was made for her, not me.
But I want a love like that.
The ache grows and grows, and all the shit on my plate, all the stuff hanging over my head, presses down on me.
I have to get out of here. I need to breathe, to feel normal again.
Before Clara or Mason notice me, I slip back into the crowd and squeeze my way to the door. Working my way off the dance floor is just as awful as pushing my way into it, but I eventually make it out mostly unscathed.
Once I step outside, I find the street mostly empty. I pull out my phone and check the time. It’s only a little after midnight.
The bouncer standing at the door looks over to me and inclines his head. “Need me to call you a cab?”
I bite my lip and consider it for a moment then shake my head. I’d like to get as far away from the club as possible. Away from Chad… Away from the ache I felt when I was near Clara and Mason.
Maybe a walk will help me clear my head.
“No, I’m good. Thanks!” I say, and wave to him.
He nods and then looks away. I take off up the street. Breathing deeply in and out, the heat and weight of the club begins to slide away.
Everything will work out, I remind myself and start to talk myself up. So you’ve had some shitty luck, Zoe? So what, buck the fuck up. It only means you’re due for some good luck to come your way.
I walk a few blocks, so focused on getting my equilibrium back that it takes me a couple of minutes to notice that other people are becoming scarcer and scarcer.
I start to doubt the wisdom of walking by myself so late at night.
Stopping at a corner, I pull up the app I use for hailing rides. The app shows me that there’s a car less than two minutes away from me. I immediately order it and watch the little map pop up that shows my location and the car’s location.
As the seconds tick by, and the few still lingering around take notice of me, I start to pace back and forth across the corner nervously.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guy leaning against the wall of a building watching me.
I check the little map on my phone again. Then I notice the car that’s supposed to be heading directly for me seems to be going in the wrong direction.
What the hell?
I decide to walk a little bit in the direction of the car, but then my little map shows me walking the complete opposite way.