“I’m fine, Nick,” Tyler managed, without turning around.
A hand touched his shoulder. “Look at me.”
Tyler snorted a laugh. “I’d rather not.”
“Why?”
Because you’re the last fucking person I need to be around right now.
“Just go, man,” Tyler said tightly. He felt fragile, worn thin at the edges, something horrible building in his chest, a desperate need that was quickly becoming overwhelming. He knew if he looked at Nick now, he would do something stupid. Something he would regret.
“Look at me,” Nick said, firmer. “Tyler.”
Against his better judgment, Tyler looked at him in the mirror.
Nick had a deep frown on his face, his expression impossible to read as their eyes met in the mirror. There was nothing friendly about Nick’s expression, his face still closed off. This was the hard-eyed man he had been sleeping with, not his laid-back best friend.
Tyler still needed him.
He didn’t know what was written on his face, but something flickered in Nick’s eyes and Nick’s hands settled on his arms. Tyler shuddered and sagged back against Nick, suppressing a whimper rising in his throat. He closed his eyes as Nick’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him in tighter.
This shouldn’t have felt any different from the hundreds of hugs they’d shared over the years. But they’d never hugged like this, with Nick enclosing him in his arms from behind. Bros didn’t hug like this. Best friends didn’t hug like this. It didn’t feel friendly at all. This felt a lot closer to their dynamic during sex. Except they hadn’t had sex that day and they were in their old classmate’s fancy loo, with dozens of people just outside the door.
Tyler tried to make himself pull away, but he couldn’t. His knees felt disgustingly weak, his body melting back into Nick’s. He just…he just wanted to be held, for a little while. He wanted to feel good, and this felt good.
Part of him was disgusted and embarrassed by his behavior—he really was behaving like a needy girlfriend—but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from Nick’s solid, reassuring presence behind him, around him.
“Has anyone said anything?” Nick murmured against his ear. “Anyone upset you?”
Tyler shook his head, rubbing his cheek against Nick’s. He smelled so good. Tyler didn’t know when he’d stopped being freaked out by the feel of stubble against his skin, but right now it just felt good. He wanted more. He squirmed back against Nick, trying to be closer to him, and made a pleased sound when Nick’s arms around him tightened.
He felt Nick sigh. “Ty,” he said, his voice strained. “Do you enjoy fucking with my head?”
“What do you mean?” Tyler said, his brows furrowing. He opened his eyes and looked at Nick in the mirror.
Nick wasn’t looking at him, his jaw set into tight lines. “Sometimes I really fucking hate you,” he said quietly.
Tyler frowned, utterly confused by Nick’s words. They made no sense, considering that Nick’s arms were still wrapped around him. But then he realized what it must have been about. So he had been right, after all. Nick really was sick of him.
“Right,” he said awkwardly, freeing himself from Nick’s arms. “Look, I’m—I’m sorry for being such a mess. I know you must be tired of dealing with my….” He gave a weak laugh. “I know I can be obnoxious, and needy, and… yeah.”
Nick’s eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
Tyler looked down. “Like, I get it—I’m a mess, and I’m kinda immature and stupid and... Everyone gets sick of me.”
“What the fuck, Tyler?” Nick tipped his chin up and made Tyler look at him. “You can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but you aren’t stupid. There’s nothing bloody wrong with you. Got it?” There was the familiar look of exasperation in Nick’s eyes, and it was unmistakably fond.
A smile tugged at Tyler’s lips. Before he could think twice, he lunged forward and pecked Nick on the mouth.
They both froze.
Slowly, very slowly, Tyler pulled back and stared at Nick with wide eyes.
Nick’s expression was very strange.
“Right,” Tyler said with a chuckle. “That was weird, yeah? Let’s pretend I didn’t do that—”
Nick shoved him against the sink and kissed him.
Tyler gasped, his knees turning into jelly. He grabbed the edge of the sink, his eyes slipping shut. He could only hold on and let Nick devour his mouth, small sounds leaving his lips as he sucked on Nick’s tongue. Bloody hell, he hated this, hated how overwhelmed and helpless he felt. It was just a kiss. A kiss. He wasn’t some dainty virgin girl—he was a man, as big as Nick—but his body refused to do anything but take, and melt, and want. Fuck, he was hard. He was hard just from kissing, what the hell.
Finally, after what felt like forever—and not nearly long enough—Nick stopped kissing him and looked at him with dark, glazed eyes. “Pull my cock out.”