He palmed his cock, looking hungrily at his Master.
In his imagination, after getting Castien hard, he would straddle his hips and then sink onto him, sating this hunger, this emptiness inside him. It would feel so good, to finally have his Master, take him inside his body and slake this yearning in him. Of course, Castien would eventually wake up, but it would be too late: he would be too far gone to stop. He would glare at Eridan and say something scathing, but he wouldn’t stop him. He would roll them over and slam into him, again and again and again, fucking him so good Eridan would only beg for more. His Master would call him names. He would slut-shame him, tell him he deserved better than an apprentice who was such a whore for his Master’s cock. But then he would tell Eridan that he loved him—
Eridan was pulled out of the fantasy, swallowing back his bitter laugh. He should have stuck to more realistic fantasies. His Master calling him a slut wasn’t very likely, but it was still infinitely more likely than him telling Eridan that he loved him.
Fuck, this was so pathetic. Who the hell fantasized about being told that he was loved?
Not to mention that he didn’t fucking want Castien’s love. He knew better than to yearn for something his Master couldn’t give him. Castien Idhron literally wasn’t capable of deep, meaningful emotions. He had told Eridan that, years ago.
Why the hell was he even here? He wouldn’t get the comfort he wanted from Castien. He should leave.
“Eridan?”
He flushed and yanked his nightshirt down to hide the bulge in his pajamas.
“I’m sorry, Master,” he said, without looking at Castien. He reinforced his mental shields. “I didn’t want to disturb your sleep. I’ll go.”
“Come here.”
Reluctantly, Eridan did as he was told, his gaze downcast.
“Why are you not asleep?”
I felt bad and wanted you to make it better sounded too pathetic, so Eridan said, “I was wondering if everything was all right. Have people already found out about…?” Fuck, he couldn’t even say it.
“Tethru’s death?” Castien said. “Yes. There was an emergency meeting of the Chapter.”
Eridan’s gaze darted up to him.
He found Castien seated on the bed, watching him. His face was half in the shadows, so it was even more difficult to read than usual. Eridan tried not to look down, at his Master’s unbuttoned shirt, even though all he wanted at the moment was to bury his face against that broad chest and breathe.
He swallowed. “Do they suspect me?”
“There is nothing to suspect,” Castien said. “I told them Tethru died from a heart attack.”
Eridan stared at him in confusion. “But… but aren’t they going to perform an autopsy?”
Castien sighed. “Only the Grandmaster can order it, and I have no intention of doing so.”
“What? You mean…”
“I put myself forward as a candidate for the position,” Castien said. “I was chosen by the majority of votes.”
Chewing on his lip, Eridan tried to wrap his mind around it. “But you didn’t want to be the Grandmaster yet,” he stated, confused. Had his Master done it just to… protect him?
Castien’s face was unreadable. “It was not the course of action I would have chosen at this point in time, but my hand was forced. After covering-up Tethru’s death, I am effectively an accomplice in the murder. I had no choice.”
“Right,” Eridan said, hugging himself. It was an unusually chilly night. He smiled crookedly. “I guess congratulations are in order? Your Grace. I… I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep—”
“Pull yourself together, Eridan,” his Master said, a grimace crossing his face. He emanated irritation. “Your guilt is illogical. Tethru was a piece of work. He would have raped you, body and mind. You did what you had to.”
The tension inside him eased.
Eridan breathed out, for what felt like the first time in hours. What his Master had said was nothing he didn’t know himself, but he had needed to hear it.
“I know,” Eridan said softly. Thank you. “Good night.” He chuckled, glancing at the brightening sky through the floor-to-ceiling window. “Or rather, good morning.” He turned to go, but Castien’s voice stopped him.
“You may sleep here.”
His eyes wide, Eridan looked back at him. “Master?”
Castien lay back and closed his eyes. “Just this once,” he said. “Get in the bed and sleep, Eridan. It will be a long day.”
Smiling a little, Eridan climbed into his Master’s bed. Although the bed was very large, he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity for some sneaky cuddles. “Thank you, Master,” he said, brushing his mouth against Castien’s cheek. You’re my safe place.
Castien stiffened. “Sleep,” he said tersely, without opening his eyes.
Eridan reluctantly pulled back—but not far. He curled up by his Master’s side, tucking his head under Castien’s arm and breathing in his familiar scent.