“Oh, honey.” Her mother smoothed her hand down Cara’s hair, just as she used to do when Cara was a child. “I can’t go anywhere. I chose my life. He’d just find me and make things more difficult after. I’m used to how things are. And it’s not that bad most of the time.”
Cara couldn’t meet her mother’s gaze and pretend her words were okay. Life was supposed to be so much more than not that bad most of the time, she thought, as her tears leaked down her cheeks.
Her mother handed her a tissue from a box on the side table, and they both wiped their eyes.
>
“Don’t cry for me,” her mother said. “Just don’t make the same mistakes.”
Cara opened her mouth to speak, but her mom shook her head. “No. I need to say this. My mistake was in not trusting my gut from the beginning. For going back each time your father promised to never yell or hit me again.”
This was the first time Natalie had ever spoken about her life, and Cara listened, wide-eyed and stunned, as her mother admitted things they’d only hidden or pretended didn’t exist before.
Her mother sighed. “I wanted so badly to believe him that I closed my eyes to the truth because it would have been so much harder to leave and start over, alone with a child.” Her mother’s shoulders shook, her eyes damp, but she held Cara’s gaze.
“Mom—”
“No, honey. Keep listening. If this is the only chance I get to tell you this, you need to hear me. When you meet a man, don’t listen to what he says. Judge him by his actions, past and present. People can change, but they have to prove it to you. Words are just that.” Her mother leaned in and kissed Cara’s cheek.
“Oh, Mom. There is a man,” Cara said through her tears. She told her mother all about Mike, from their one-night stand to the agreed-upon affair with No hearts involved. “I knew the score going in, and I tried so hard not to fall in love.” But she had, and now she felt his absence even though he was still in Serendipity.
Her mother listened, nodded, and finally held out her arms so Cara could get the much-needed hug and support she’d come for. She wasn’t overreacting, either. She could handle his not calling without working herself into a snit, even if he’d promised, knowing he was busy with his life and his job. But he hadn’t shown up at Joe’s on Wednesday night as they’d agreed, nor had he reached out. At all. Cara didn’t appreciate taking the brunt of whatever was bothering him, nor would she let him push her away without an explanation. She had more self-esteem than that, she thought, glancing at her mother, who was the polar opposite. Still, if Cara felt his absence this much now, she couldn’t imagine the pain she’d feel when he was finally gone.
Too soon, their time together ended. Cara sensed her mother getting antsy and worried, glancing at the clock, worried her husband would return and find them together.
“I’ll go before…” Cara didn’t want to cause her mother any trouble.
“I love you,” her mother said. “And when you’re ready to see me again, I’m here. And if not, I understand that too.”
So accepting, Cara thought, sadly. Even of the way Cara had decided that she wouldn’t enable her mother’s dysfunction. What a crock, she realized now. She hadn’t abandoned Daniella or the shelter women, had she? Just her own mother, because deep down, Cara was too afraid of turning into her.
No more, Cara thought. Her mother needed her as much as Cara needed her mom. “I’ll stay in touch,” she promised. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” Her mother’s eyes were brighter as they said their good-byes.
Cara sneaked back out of the building, relieved to have her mother back in her life. Ironic, that the return of one relationship came as she lost another. And Cara didn’t kid herself that Mike was slipping away.
This weekend was Annie and Joe’s wedding. Somehow Cara would get through that day surrounded by family and friends. Then she’d call Mike out on his behavior. It was one thing to have a casual affair, another to withdraw completely at his own whim, she thought, her mother’s advice fresh in her mind.
Judge a man by his actions.
And Mike’s withdrawal, coupled with Simon’s remission and the fact that he’d obviously be returning to work, told Cara everything she needed to know.
Mike’s time in Serendipity—and with her—was over.
A Saturday morning meeting with the mayor and then Mike was off to Joe and Annie’s wedding. Thank God this past week was almost over. Two more hurdles to get through and then he was gone.
Mike’s chest hurt, and he didn’t know if it was from the stress of his unresolved family issues, the decision his father was still pressuring him to make, or the fact that he’d basically driven Cara away.
After going silent for four days, he’d texted her Thursday night—Busy with work. Pick you up at 11 AM for wedding—since they’d agreed to go together. He got a curt answer back. Don’t bother. I’ve made other arrangements. He’d winced even though he deserved it.
Then, last night, while lifting weights at the Y, he’d made the decision to head home after the weekend. He’d called his father and put Simon off, telling him that he couldn’t make the decision about the job immediately. He just wasn’t ready. Simon pretended to understand, but Mike knew from his subdued tone that he really didn’t.
Which was why he needed space from everything and everyone. Once he returned to New York, he’d breathe deep, stand back, and see what it was he really wanted out of life. He couldn’t figure that out with pressure at every turn. And though Cara hadn’t pressured him—hell, if he didn’t call her, she certainly hadn’t called him—he felt the weight of responsibility sitting on his chest.
He cared for her more than he’d ever cared for any woman before. He couldn’t imagine his life without her bright smile and smart mouth, but he couldn’t come to her free and clear of baggage and fear. And she deserved more than that. She deserved a full commitment and Mike couldn’t manage one. The only thing he could say in his defense was that he’d never led her on or promised her anything more than what they shared.
So why did he feel lower than pond scum now?