“Good morning, Mr. Kidswatter,” said Mrs. Day, the school secretary. She handed him a cup of hot coffee.
Just like always.
“Thank you, Miss Night,” said Mr. Kidswatter.
He walked into his office.
Except his office door was closed.
He smashed into it, spilling coffee all over his green suit.
“Who closed my door?” he demanded.
“Why didn’t you just open it?” asked Mrs. Day.
“It’s always open in the morning,” said Mr. Kidswatter. “How was I supposed to know it was closed this time?”
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Up on the thirtieth story, Mrs. Jewls took roll.
Todd was absent.
“Oh dear, I hope Todd is all right,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Todd’s never all right!” said Joy.
She and Maurecia laughed.
Dameon looked at Mrs. Jewls. Ever since he returned to Wayside School, he’d thought there was something different about her, but he still couldn’t figure out what it was.
Mr. Kidswatter’s voice came over the P.A. system. “Good morning, boys and girls.”
There was the usual pause.
“Today I want to talk about doors,” said Mr. Kidswatter.
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“This should be interesting,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Do you know how many doors there are in this school building?” asked Mr. Kidswatter.
Mrs. Jewls shook her head.
“Well, there are a lot! Over thirty! And some of you probably have doors at home too. Maybe more than one. All those doors. Think about it.”
“Well, Mr. Kidswatter has certainly given us something to think about this morning,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“So remember,” said Mr. Kidswatter. “And please be careful! Always check to see if a door is open before going through it. And if it’s not open, open it. If you can’t open it yourself, ask someone to open it for you. This may not make a lot of sense to you now, but someday you’ll thank me.”
Mrs. Jewls looked around the class. “That’s good advice,” she said. “I think most of you already knew it, but at least it’s nice to know we have a principal who cares.”
“I hate doors!” shouted Mr. Kidswatter. “It’s a dumb word. Door. Door. Door. Who made up that word, anyway?”
Mrs. Jewls waited a little longer, but Mr. Kidswatter seemed to be finished. “Some people just don’t like doors,” she said.
“I have made a new rule!” declared Mr. Kidswatter. “You may no longer say that word. You know what word I mean — but don’t say it! Instead, I have made up a new word for you: ‘Goozack.’ Open the goozack. Shut the goozack. Lock the goozack. Don’t you think that’s a better word? I do. From now on, that other word is a bad word. I have made my decision.”