The fear in her eyes at The Gold Room gnaws at my stomach. For a split second, she thought I was going to hit her. The thought makes me sick. What makes me even sicker is thinking that she could end up with another guy who could harm her and all because I wasn’t man enough to fix things between us.
How can I risk that?
“You know,” Mom says, heading back to the kitchen. “It would be a damn shame for you to miss out on the love of your life because Kendra was a cheating bitch.”
“Mom! Language!” I can’t help but laugh. “What’s gotten into you?”
She picks up her purse and puts it on her shoulder. Then she looks at me.
“Giving someone your heart is always a risk. What if it breaks?” She gives me a final, lingering smile and heads for the door. “But what if it doesn’t?”
Her heels tap against the floor before the door opens and shuts.
Damn.
Thirty-Four
Shaye
To: Toni Marquez
From: Shaye Brewer
Re: Absence
Dear Ms. Marquez,
I am still feeling under the weather and will not be in the office today.
Thank you for understanding.
Best,
Shaye Brewer
“Does that make you feel better?” Nate sips his coffee at my kitchen table. He lifts a brow. “I do appreciate that you’re still being professional despite the circumstances.”
I toss my phone at him. It spins in a circle on the tabletop.
My body aches from not sleeping. Again.
I had planned on going to the office today and just ignoring Oliver—keeping the door open and spending a lot of time in the bathroom. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see him.
“I have an appointment with an attorney this afternoon,” I say. “I’m going to get some kind of contract drawn up or something to put it in writing that I’m paying Oliver back.”
Nate whistles through his teeth. “I still can’t believe he paid off that damn loan.”
“You and me both.”
I wish I could talk to him about it. I will. Some day. That day is just not today.
I penned countless emails during the night. I just didn’t know what to say. What do you say to someone who did something so outlandish for reasons unbeknownst to you? And then they break up with you over something so silly.
It’s not silly. Not really. I can imagine what Oliver felt like when he saw me with Marius. But the fact that he wouldn’t even hear me out or give me the benefit of the doubt seals the deal.
“Look, I’m not an Oliver fan,” Nate says. “But let’s just stay calm for a second, all right, and think this through.”
“Let’s not.”
He chuckles. “Are you at least going to see why he did it?”
“Does it really matter, Nate? Really? Because I don’t think it does.” I get up from the table. “If he did it because he loved me, which is the dream, right? He wouldn’t have walked away from me in The Gold Room. He would have trusted me. He would’ve known that I wouldn’t lie to him or betray him.”
“Fair enough.”
“So that leaves us with one other option, doesn’t it?”
He furrows his brow. “Well, maybe more than one, but I’ll let you lead.”
“He was trying to control me.”
Nate takes another sip of his coffee. “That sounds a little presumptuous.”
“I don’t think so. Think about it—if he’s paid off the loan … that’s more money than most people make in a year. In three or four years. Why? Why would he do that when he won’t even have a conversation with me—he wouldn’t listen to me? It makes no sense.”
“Maybe he was doing you a favor.”
“That’s a pretty big favor, friend.”
He can’t argue that.
My phone buzzes and Nate slides it back to me. I open my email.
To: Shaye Brewer
From: Toni Marquez
Re: Absence
Dear Ms. Brewer,
Mr. Mason would like you to know that your email isn’t accepting his messages. His calls are also not going through. Please call him immediately.
Best,
Toni
I swipe out of the email app. I don’t tell Nate, but it does give me a small dose of satisfaction that he’s been trying to reach me.
“You blocked him?” Nate shakes his head. “What are you? Fifteen?”
“No. I’m a woman who feels like she’s been put in a position where she owes a man a large sum of money and now he expects her to answer his calls when he feels like it. I’m not doing that, Nate. I did it with Luca in a way and, yeah. No. Not again. Not ever again.”
“I—”
Buzz!
The doorbell cuts through Nate’s reply. I don’t know if I’m thankful or upset about it—mostly because I don’t know who is at the door.
“Will you get it?” I ask him.
He nods. “Want me to let him in?”
“Nope.”
He rolls his eyes but marches to the door like a man on a mission.
I hold my breath as the door creaks. My eyes dry out as they stay wide as he speaks to whoever is there.