Ah, damn. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I had to lean down and kiss him. “You’re not an idiot,” I said fiercely. “I will fight anyone who treats you like you are.”
Dunn settled his head into the pillow and watched me closely, a little smile quirking his lips. “Even if it’s you?”
“Me?” I demanded. “What? I would never treat you like that! I couldn’t, because I know how smart you are. Who overhauled his whole operation so he could get that Organic Dairy Certification, huh? Who had the vision to make himself the exclusive supplier for Glastonbury Creamery’s ice cream and those Summer Honey bath products, when nobody else would’ve thought of marketing milk to a soap company? Who figured out how to haul a cast-iron tub up the stairs at the farmhouse with pulleys? It was not my fancy-degreed-self, that’s for damn sure. And…”
Dunn pushed me over and reversed our positions so I had my head to the pillow while his smiling face loomed over me.
“Then why are you treating me like I don’t know what I want when it comes to you?”
“What?” I whispered.
“This test right now. And you avoided me all day yesterday.”
Oh.
Well, damn.
I sucked in a breath, ready to deny it… but I couldn’t, because that would’ve been a total lie, and Dunn deserved better. Instead, I settled for, “I don’t know exactly. I’m just scared of the change, I guess.”
“I love you, Tuck,” Dunn continued seriously. “I mean, you know I’ve loved you since forever, right? And you know I like you better than anyone. I always want to be with you. So why is it hard to believe I want to be with you?” He bit his lip. “I didn’t expect it, a-and I know it’s sudden, and I get maybe you’re not a hundred percent feeling what I’m feeling, but I want you to be mine and no one else’s. I’d like us to be together.”
Serious as his words were, I had to chuckle just a little. His and no one else’s. That would never not kill me.
“I want that too.” I lifted my hand to touch his scruffy cheek. “I… have wanted you for a really long time, Dunn Johnson.”
“Wait, really? You have?” He looked stunned but really pleased too.
“I have,” I confirmed.
“You don’t sound too thrilled about it.”
He had no idea. “The thing is…” I hesitated. “I’ve had to push those feelings down because I knew you couldn’t return them. I prayed that I could transfer those feelings to one of those horrible blind dates you sent me on so I could love you as a friend the way you needed. It wasn’t always easy, feeling so much and knowing I was the only one.”
Sometimes it had killed me.
“Ah, Tuck.” Dunn’s eyes went soft. “And there I was, trying to find you someone who could love you in the way I thought I couldn’t.” He shook his head ruefully. “I just didn’t know I wanted this then. Maybe I wasn’t ready to.” He sank down onto the mattress beside me and took my hand, twining our fingers together. “But I’m all in now. I am. I want us to be together.”
Was it possible for it to be that easy? I wanted to think so. God, I really, really did.
“I want that too. You can’t even imagine how much. But, I…” I took a deep breath and blurted, “I need us to move forward slowly, okay? I want to make sure you’re a hundred percent on board and that we’re not rushing anything. Our friendship is too important to mess up.”
Dunn stared at me for a second, and then he nodded once. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Really?
“Yeah, I get it. Whatever you need to feel comfortable. We can move slow, just as long as we’re moving forward. Together.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I’ll wait for you,” he assured me solemnly.
I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t laugh. Dunn was so damn cute, and he loved me. I knew that with my whole heart.
But as much as Dunn wanted me to believe he knew what he was doing—and as badly as I wanted to believe that too—I couldn’t quite get there. There was so much about being with a guy that he’d never experienced or thought of, and sex was the least of it. Had he thought about kids with two dads? Or having a husband instead of a wife? Had he thought about introducing me as his partner?
Anywhere else in the world, or maybe for any two other people, those were long-term problems that would sort themselves out in time. But here in Licking Thicket, where folks had long memories—and even longer noses they loved to poke into other people’s business—these were things we’d have to start talking about the second our relationship became public knowledge. And if he decided this—us—wasn’t what he wanted romantically in the long term… Well. It was best not to think about what might happen.