Fall hard for a man…and then walk away.
The thought should have made her feel more free and alive than ever. But instead she felt vertigo, like she was falling and had no one to catch her.
Deep down, she couldn’t do a relationship. Couldn’t be tied to anyone, because it would go against everything she’d fought for. She’d been more certain of that than ever when Dex had picked her out of the mock water rescue. He was the kind of man she’d get lost in if she wasn’t careful.
But she wanted one more night with Dex. At the very least to say some sort of good-bye. Good-bye to the fun, good-bye to his charm, good-bye to the man she had feelings for.
She couldn’t have feelings. She just couldn’t.
And even if she did, she had to prove to herself that those feelings had no power over her. She had to be with him for one more night and then tell him good-bye.
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. It should be weird. They hadn’t spoken in a few days. But it was like they both knew the game. And for tonight, she was done playing. She’d been honest, put it out there, and he’d responded. No more games, just truth.
And the truth was that she wanted him.
He tasted and nipped her lips. “Sorry, I could use a shower, but your orders said right away.” He picked her up, and she instantly wrapped her legs around his middle as he took her inside and kicked the door shut behind him.
“I’m so glad you listen to orders. Making me wait any longer would have made me very unhappy.”
“Can’t have that,” he said, kissing down her neck.
She didn’t care that he was dirty, messy, or in plain clothes. She just kissed him. She liked the smell of him, the taste of him.
When she started tugging off his shirt, he groaned.
“Maybe I should shower,” he said.
“After,” she breathed and kept kissing him. “Need you now.”
He kissed her harder. “God, I love hearing you say that.”
She cupped his face, and, keeping her mouth against his, she said, “It’s true.”
He leaned away to look at her for a moment. “I’m sorry I haven’t called.”
She kissed him again. “I know. I didn’t call, either. Do you ever feel like you’re in the middle of a big mess and no matter what you do, there’s no way you’re going to come out clean?”
He gripped her tighter, and with her still wrapped around him, he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He didn’t let her go, though. Just adjusted her weight to one arm while he cranked the knobs and made hot water spray against them in seconds.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “But maybe we can stay messy together for a little while longer.”
There it was. The admission that she knew was coming. A little while longer.
That said it all.
He wanted more. And she wanted to give it to him.
And that was all the reason she needed to put an end to this.
This was her last hit of a drug she couldn’t stomach. It was so good. He was so good. But it went against everything she was trying to be on her own.
“I’ll get dirty with you tonight,” she whispered.
“Think we can get dirty and clean at the same time?” he asked and kissed down her neck. Thank goodness she was still wearing her dress from earlier, because it allowed for Dex to hold her bare ass beneath the flowy skirt.
“I think we can get dirty anywhere,” she whispered, and then she tugged off his shirt and threw it to the floor. He growled and clutched her ass tighter, harder. She kissed him and reached between their bodies to unbuckle his belt and pants.
“Condom is in my front pocket,” he said and bit down on her collarbone.