“Things are complicated, Heaven. I’ve got so much riding on the next few weeks. Even if I walk back on the field my position may be gone. Sabine…”
I frowned. “Are things bad with her?”
“She didn’t like the photos of me and you at the premiere.”
“I can understand that.”
“I can, too, but…”
“But what?”
His eyes blazed even in the dark. “All of this was easier when I was across the country. Travelling. Busy. But sitting around with too much time on my hands. Being back here—it’s hard.” He rested his hands on his hips. “I didn’t know how hard it would be.”
I laughed darkly. “Trust me, I know. Allendale is small and stifling at times. I mean, I’m happy here, but sometimes I want to pull my hair out.”
“Allendale isn’t the problem, Heaven.” His voice was husky. I’d heard it before.
“Oh.”
“I know about you and Jackson,” he said. I wasn’t exactly surprised. The guys never kept secrets and I didn’t expect them to. “I also saw you and Oliver coming out of the back hall at RJ’s alone, then a few days later the picture of you two on the A5 Instagram page.”
“So? What’s the big deal? We’re working through some stuff. Is that wrong?”
“I just…I--we made a decision, and it feels like the three of you are going back on it.”
“There were some unresolved feelings, Hayden. I think it’s fair for us to explore them.
He exhaled, jaw tight, and rubbed his hands in his hair. “Look, I can do this on my own. Jogging isn’t going to kill me and I don’t really need a babysitter.”
“I’m not babysitting you.”
“We don’t need to do this anymore, okay?” His gray eyes turned cold, distant.
“Fine. If that’s how you want it.”
“It is.”
“Great.” I couldn’t pretend his words didn’t hurt. But I understood. Too much. But before I walked off I had something else to say. “Relationships take work, Hayden. All of them. Ours. Yours. The Allendale Five. If we don’t nurture them they’ll die and that almost happened to us. But then you got hurt and it brought us back together and god, we’re a total fucking mess. But I’ve come to realize I’m not ready to let this relationship wither, not completely, and if that means I have to let you go to save just a little piece of this, I will.”
I spun on my heel and took off, actually running away this time. I didn’t care because I wasn’t just running from someone, I was running to someone. Someone that had made it clear what he wanted. Someone I knew was waiting for me.
35
Heaven
I didn’t hesitate when I got to his house, knocking loudly on the door. The place was massive—his parents’ dream home—and Oliver rambled around in it, basically alone.
It was still early and I knew Jackson often took the morning shift at the gym, training a few of the guys before work. Oliver opened the door in his pajama bottoms and a baseball shirt from Allendale High.
“Heaven?” He looked over my shoulder. “Is everything okay? Where’s Hayden?”
Not answering, I took the step up. We weren’t even because he was so much taller, but I closed the gap enough that when I clenched his shirt around my fingers and tugged him down, our faces met.
“I’m in,” I told him before crashing my mouth to his. He didn’t move at first, shocked at my forwardness. I’d be embarrassed, but I refused. Slowly he responded, hands moving to my waist, pushing me against the door frame. His mouth moved against mine. I felt the sweep of his tongue, the hum in the back of his throat, the bulge in his pants.
He pulled back an inch but I didn’t allow the distance. No talking. No rationalizing. No thinking. He seemed to get it, pulling me away from the door and slamming it shut. He nudged me backwards and my back hit the granite countertop. I pushed at his shirt but he held down my hands.
“Not here.”