“What do you mean?”
“Slumber parties, ghost stories, brothers with a mission—even fictional ones. I missed out on all that. Mom didn’t let me do any of those things or give me the chance to try, I guess.”
Leelee sighs. “Starlee, I’ve never understood why your mother made some of her choices. I had to assume that although it was extreme it was for your own good, but I can see why it would hurt to realize how much you missed.”
“I just feel so lost,” I confess. “I’m scared and anxious all the time. Like today at the store, I saw the boys from next door and totally panicked.”
“You did? What happened? Did they bother you?”
“No, they were fine. Nice even. I ran away—pretended I didn’t see them.”
Her eyebrows raise. “And how did that go over?”
“Oh, they followed me and made me talk to them.” I look at my hands, feeling ashamed. “Or, George did. Dexter made them leave.”
“Talking to people, people from your community and neighbors is a good thing, Starlee.”
“But I promised Mom. No boys. And it’s really hard because those guys next door are everywhere.”
“You’re right about that. It took me a while to get used to them. Especially George. God, he’s like a jackrabbit. Just all over the place.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Your mother left you here for a reason, to experience this little town and everything that comes with it. The boys next door are part of that. I trust them. I trust them with my business and my groceries and my computer and setting up my furniture. I also trust Sierra and the way she’s raised them, despite their struggles.”
She squeezes my hand. “You’re not so different from them, you know. They were all new here, once upon a time. They may be able to help you.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You don’t have to. But I also don’t want you to think that the rules are the same here. I want you to spread your wings, Starlee. Experience life. Enjoy your time here.”
“I’ll try.”
She gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, “Let’s go finish that episode.”
I nod and follow her, curious myself, because even if I’m too scared to make friends with the boys next door, watching the show makes me feel a little bit closer to them anyway.
11
The girl stands at the end of the bed, staring at the mirror. My mother’s mirror, white with carved roses at the top. Her image is reflected back. Long blonde hair, blue eyes. She opens her mouth and speaks.
Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mar—
I jerk awake, blinking across the room. A shadow lingers at the end of the bed. Paranoia creeps up my back. My heart hammers. I fumble for the light, for the metal pull, and grab it, yanking down until the room is filled with warm yellow light.
I’m alone.
Stupid Supernatural.
I sink back on my bed, facing the window. It takes a minute but my heart finally slows and I turn off the light again, knowing it’s too early to get up. I glance out the window and see a figure on the roof, his face tinted blue from the light of his phone or maybe a tablet.
Jake.
I look at my own clock and see that it’s only four a.m. An hour earlier than I normally get up for the sunset. I stand in the window watching him for a moment until he must feel my gaze. His eyes flick up and meet mine. I’m not sure how I feel when he waves at me, but I do know I don’t really feel like being alone.
Stupid, stupid Dean Winchester and his stupid perfect face and Sam Winchester and his silky hair. They’re the reason I’m up at four a.m.
Jake and I stare at one another for a minute before I grab my hoodie and shoes and head for the door.