“I’m so sorry, Ria,” my cousin keeps saying as we move to the truck. “I’m a bastard and a coward, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him repeatedly, not knowing what else to say or how to comfort him. Or where the fuck he came from. “I told you to run,” is all I can settle on, but he shakes his head, remorse flooding his eyes.
“Two in the back, armed and ready.” Nik gives the command as the truck door swings open with a creak that carries through the woods.
“Ria.” Brett says my name reverently before hugging me one last time and helping me up into the truck. The dried leather seats are cracked. I’ve never seen this car in my entire life.
“Don’t worry, it’s sound, just made to look like it’s something to be ignored,” Nik says, as if reading my mind. My gaze finds his as the truck sways with Brett and one of the other guys climbing into the back and under a tarp, guns slipped through inconspicuous holes. This truck was made for getaways. The quiet hum of the engine is all I hear for a moment.
It’s only then that I feel like it’s real. Like I’m actually leaving Carter and going home.
Going back to my father and his men.
The two other men I can’t place, although their faces are so familiar, but their names still elude me in this moment. I can feel their eyes on me as they climb into the back, assessing, judging, and questioning. Wanting to know what happened and more importantly, whose side I’m on, I’m sure.
He let me get away. It’s all I can think. Carter let them take me. That’s the only way it could be this easy.
The thought brings a swell of emotion up my throat and I feel like I’m going to be sick again. The dry heave forces me to open the door and lean out of it. The air is cold against the sudden heat spreading through my body and traveling up to my face.
Everything is quiet as the sickness leaves me. It’s disgusting and leaves an acidic burn in its wake. But even when it’s over, I can’t bring myself back into the car fully. I lean out of it, feeling the cool air and wishing I could leave as easily as the wind can.
It’s all too much. It’s all too fast and I hold my belly, not knowing what to think or what to do.
It’s only when Nik gently rubs my back and whispers that we have to leave that I resign myself to the fate I chose.
“I didn’t plan for this,” I confess to Nikolai as he pulls me back into the truck and gives me a napkin to wipe my mouth.
I didn’t plan to leave the man I love. I didn’t plan on him allowing it.
I didn’t plan to run back to my family, to his enemy.
And I didn’t plan for the small life I wanted to protect from all of this.
I needed to run to get away. Not to fall back into the same game, only to find the color of my pieces have changed.
“He’s going to hate me,” I cry out softly and once again, Nikolai pulls me into him. The truck is still idle and I know time is ticking. Precious time.
Nik calls out for one of the guys to come drive and scoots to the middle so he can comfort me, even as I cry over Carter.
As the other man gets into the driver’s seat, giving me a look of sympathy, Nik reaches behind the seat and pulls out a thick, wool blanket.
“It’s all right,” Nik tells me, not taking the moment to curse Carter or question my sanity. “We’re going home.”
For the first ten minutes, I kept expecting bullets to fly out of nowhere. I was ready for the ping of steel to slam against the truck. And then I thought maybe Carter would just appear in front of the truck. Standing in the middle of the road like a madman.
It took too long for me to swallow the jagged pill. I’ve truly left Carter. He’s not coming to take me back.
“You don’t have to tell me now.” Nik’s voice slices through my thoughts. The man at the wheel, a man named Connor, glances at me. I know he’s curious. I can’t imagine what everyone thinks of me, knowing I chose to stay with Carter when they came to rescue me.
Shamefully, I consider making up a lie, just so they won’t know how I’ve fallen for him and how I betrayed them by doing so. The idea comes and goes with the rumble of the truck being carried into the fall air.
“You don’t have to tell me right now,” he repeats and I gaze into Nik’s eyes as he continues, “but I need to know everything you remember.” He nods slightly, as if wanting me to agree to such a thing.