I never knocked on the door, that wasn’t me, but I did cry out, “I need you.” Only it was years before Carter would ever be brought into the room beneath the bedroom where my mother was murdered.
Those words were given to my mother. I spoke them, I know I did.
But they weren’t for Carter. They were never meant for him or my father.
Years later, I think my mother gave them to him. She gave them to a vulnerable boy on the brink of death, so close to the edge of a place she lingered. She gave them to him, a helpless boy caught in a horrid place, who would turn into a ruthless, merciless man. And he would one day, give her revenge in return.
The story is there, tickling the edge of my mind, and it keeps me frozen in my seat, gripping the edge of the chair.
The last few months play out in my head, slow motion for some moments, and only glimpses for other scenes.
The only reason I fell into Romano’s trap was because Nikolai took my drawing pad… the one that had my mother’s picture in it.
I only fought for it because of the picture.
Swallowing is futile; my pulse quickens and an anxiety I haven’t felt since I ventured into the east wing of my father’s house returns. The wing where my mother died.
I remember the way I felt when I stabbed Stephan. My skin felt like ice. And there was a hand, a hand over mine that wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop stabbing him. The thought is sobering to my tired mind. The exhaustion that weighs my eyelids down seems to vanish as I try to swallow, each of the events that have led me to this point falling into place in my mind like puzzle pieces.
A chill spreads over my skin as I hold on to the armrest of the chair with a white-knuckled grip. My blood runs even colder, and I can’t shake it. I can’t shake the freezing fear that flows through me. It’s something unnatural and my thoughts make no sense. It’s not truth. It’s not real. It’s only a coincidence.
Still, I turn slowly, ever so slowly to Addison and ask her, barely breathing the words, “Do you think the ones we lost stay with us forever in some way?”
“Ria,” Addison breathes out as she takes my hand in both of hers, freeing it from gripping the armrest and pats the top of it soothingly. “He’s going to make it,” she says and her voice is hoarse with emotion.
I shake my head, rubbing under my eyes with the hand she doesn’t have and telling her, “No, not him. Not Carter.” A second passes, one painful beat in my chest before I look into her soft gaze and ask, “Do you think others, others we loved but who have passed stay with us?”
She searches my gaze for only a moment before nodding her head.
“They must.” Her answer is final with no room for doubt.
At the same time as the doctor walks through the doorway, heading straight to us, Addison adds, “Even death can’t sever love.”
Chapter 23
Carter
She was here. I know it. I can still smell the soft citrus scent of her shampoo. As death threatened to drag me to hell where I belong, I swear I heard her sing for me. The cadence of her sweet, feminine voice, carried past the damnation I knew was sure to come and I clung to it.
I will forever cling to her.
I could hear her, even feel her, but I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t speak either. All I wanted to do was to tell her I love her. But I couldn’t.
I would rather her pull a gun out on me any day than to lose her.
Knock, knock. The door creaks open as the knocks filter into the room.
A trot in my chest proves I’m still waiting on Aria, but it’s not her. My brothers come in, but Aria’s not here. For a split second, I think maybe it was all in my mind. That she wasn’t here at all.
Maybe it was only a dream.
Fear consumes every piece of me. She didn’t die in my place. Aria can’t die. No!
“Aria,” I breathe her name and Sebastian tells me she’s okay. She’s in the hall waiting.
A sharp pain shoots through my chest, a pain I’ve never felt before and I can hear the beeping of a machine over and over as I grimace.
“You don’t have to sit up,” Daniel tells me, moving to my side and trying to keep me from moving. I want to go to her. To see her. “Don’t overdo it,” I hear Jase tell me. As my head starts to feel lighter, I focus only on breathing.
“Fuck off,” I say and shove him away, ignoring the heat of an agonizing pain rip up my right side. I seethe inwardly and in that moment, at this weak moment in my life, the door opens and Aria’s there.