I had to agree. But as the sexual haze dissipated, I began to realize what we’d just done and how I shouldn’t have allowed it. It wasn’t the booze to blame for my lack of judgement. It was Tucker and his ability to make me feel things I desperately wanted to feel. The problem was, I shouldn’t have been feeling them with him. I shouldn’t have been aroused by his body or his cheeky charm. I shouldn’t have found excitement in the way he touched me or filled me. I shouldn’t have been coming simply because he talked dirty.
Sitting naked on my table, I felt awkward and vulnerable.
As if he knew it, he took my face in his hands. “You’re beautiful. I’m going to get rid of this rubber, if you want to dress or get a robe or something.”
God damn him for being so sensitive too. God was punking me. It was bad enough to be dumped before my wedding. But now, the first man that I found interesting and sexy since Rick left me was only twenty-four? I was a joke. An embarrassment. A cougar cliché.
I nodded and waited until he left the kitchen. I jumped down from the table, and put my clothes back on. He’d taken his pants with him, so when he returned, he was dressed too. Good, maybe we could pretend this never happened, although I doubted that I’d ever be able to look at my table and not think of his sexual prowess again.
“I should get some rest,” I said before he could say anything. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted him gone so I could start forgetting this ever happened. As if I could. I had to work with this man, and now he’d eaten my pussy. He’d fucked me senseless. How was I going to see him in the halls of school and not immediately think of this moment?
He studied me for a moment. “I know you have reasons for why you think this was a bad idea. Why you think you and I are a bad idea. But I’ve just shown you why we’re not.”
I looked down. “It’s just sex, Tucker. It doesn’t mean anything.”
His dark eyes flashed with annoyance, which was the first time I’d ever seen that in him. But as quickly as it was there, it was gone.
“If you think that, you’re wrong.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll show myself out.”
I nodded, feeling bad that I probably hurt his feelings, and yet, I hoped maybe it would mean he’d get the message and stay away from me, because clearly, when he was around, I couldn’t trust myself.
I took a warm shower and then put on my least sexy pajamas and climbed into bed. As much as I knew I needed to put this experience behind me, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even now, I could feel his lips on me. On my mouth. On my pussy. And when he was fucking me, oh my God, I’d never felt so full. Like every nerve ending in my pussy was stimulated. Overstimulated. My blood heated at the memory of it.
Now knowing first hand just how spectacular sex with Tucker could be, I’d have an even tougher time avoiding him. But I had to. He was right. I had many reasons to want to put the kibosh on his interest in me. I was too old for him and when he realized it or got tired of me, he’d move on. Then what? I’d be dumped again. Rick might have been lacking in sex skills, but I’d loved him and he abandoned me. I wasn’t ready to experience that again.
The truth was, I’d lied to Tucker whe
n I passed our encounter off as just sex. The reality was that there was so much to Tucker that attracted me to him. He was a man I could develop feelings for and I wasn’t ready for that yet. Not when I’d made such a bad choice in loving Rick. I couldn’t trust my hormones around Tucker, and I definitely couldn’t trust my heart.
I’d have the weekend to purge him from my body and mind, and hopefully, I could avoid him at work and around town. And if I couldn’t avoid him, I’d have to resist the temptation to be with him…somehow.
7
Tucker
I woke early with a hardon from a dream about Holly. This time, my dream conscious knew exactly how sweet she tasted and how tight her pussy was, so my morning woody was tenting the sheet. God, I wished she was here to take care of it for me. Why was she being so hard-headed about us? I was a good guy. There didn’t seem to be a specific rule from work, written or unwritten, about our dating. Her friends liked me. So what was the big deal?
What really bothered me was how I’d left. I knew she was working her way to tell me we couldn’t be together, and I just didn’t want to hear it. We’d gotten along so well during our texting phase. Why couldn’t we now?
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I should go back to the beginning and text her again. Remind her that the man she sees now is the same one she’d been flirting with by text over the summer.
I had half a mind to text her a picture of my giant woody, but Brooke had once told me that dick pics were never okay. Even between two people who were together.
“They just don’t look right on a small screen,” she’d said. Since she was a woman, I had to take her word for it.
So instead, I wrote, Good morning, and then added a kitten yawning gif, and hit send.
I waited. And waited. I was about to give up when my phone chimed with a text notification. I opened it to find a grumpy kitty gif.
I smiled. Hungover?
A little.
That bothered me some. If she was hungover, did that mean she was too drunk to have sex last night? She’d been tipsy, but I’d been so sure she was completely aware of what she was doing. Then again, afterwards, she immediately regretted it.
Oh fuck.
I knew we needed to talk.