I know that’s what’s going on now with her not responding to my texts or answering when I call. I’m hundreds of miles away and she needs me. Not until now have I considered leaving Cerberus so I can be with her every night.
“Still no answer?” Jinx asks as he drops to the picnic table beside me.
We’re at a shitty hotel on standby, waiting for the last pieces of information we need before our raid, and the lack of activity is causing me more stress than it ever has before.
“No.”
“Maybe she’s taking a nap.”
Unless she fell asleep on the way home from work, that’s highly unlikely, at least with the first message I sent her.
We said I love you for the first time. That may be the reason she’s being silent. What was the best thing I’ve ever heard may have had the power to freak her out a little, especially after confessing that she felt like she was owned and not in a good way.
I wave Thumper over, and of course he takes his sweet ass time getting to us.
“Have you spoken with Cara today?”
“Of course I have,” he says as if it’s the stupidest question he’s ever heard.
“Did she mention April?”
“She said she had to run to the school to pick her up because she wasn’t feeling well.”
I glare at him. “And you didn’t think that was information I needed to know?”
His head jerks back at the anger in my voice.
“I figured you talked to your wife.”
“He hasn’t,” Jinx says. “She’s not responding to texts or answering when he calls.”
Thumper pulls out his phone, shooting off a text, and whoever he messaged responds back immediately.
“Cara says she was feeling nauseous and is taking a nap.”
Jinx sighs in relief, smacking my shoulder with the back of his hand. “See? Everything is fine.”
“It’s not,” I assure him. “I’ve been trying to reach her for hours.”
Thumper’s frown deepens. “I can have Cara go to her and give her the phone.”
I shake my head. There’s more going on, and I don’t know if it’s physical pain or emotional, but my girl is not okay. I can sense it like it’s my own injury.
Jinx stares off in the distance, his face a mask of no emotions, and I know him enough to know that he has thoughts he doesn’t want to share.
“What?” I hiss.
“It’s just that—” He shakes his head as if he’s rejecting his own thoughts. “Wasn’t she not feeling well recently?”
“She missed the party last night,” Thumper adds.
I don’t correct them and tell them that April was upset because of what she thought she saw between Nova and me, but now that I’m thinking about it, she was overly emotional. April gets upset, but she normally doesn’t curl into herself and cry. I was figuring it was more intense because she was alone for longer. When I’m home, I’m normally right there beside her or at least in the same room, and I can sense her mood change and can do something about it right then.
“Reagan spent days doing the same thing, remember?”
I nod because I do. He was a damn mess for days because she was ghosting him, but this is different. Jinx wasn’t married to Reagan. They hadn’t yet established the connection that April and I have.
“Do you remember why?” he asks, his throat working on a swallow.
I think back, my brain not wanting to work correctly because it’s filled with thoughts of April.
“She lost the baby,” Jinx whispers, his voice filled with pain, and I know that despite it being months and months, he still hurts for that loss.
“No.” I shake my head, rejecting the possibility immediately, but it’s like an insidious thing, the risk burying deep inside of me, filled with poison and pain. “That’s not possible, right? She’s too far along.”
Thumper holds his hands up. “I don’t know a thing about pregnancy or babies.”
I look to Jinx for clarification. “Fuck, man. It can happen at any point.”
I jump to my feet, hitting April’s contact on my phone and freaking out more and more when it rings a handful of times before going to voicemail.
“I have to go home.”
I leave the guys and head back to the row of hotel rooms we’ve reserved, pounding on Hound’s door. He grumbles from inside before opening it, but his complaints fall from his lips when he sees me standing there. Does he know something I don’t, or do I just look like a raving lunatic right now?
“I need to go home. There’s something wrong with April. I don’t know if it’s the baby or—”
He takes a step closer like he’s preparing to restrain me if he needs to. “Take a breath and tell me what’s going on.”
“She wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and now she isn’t answering my calls. Cara told Thumper that she’s resting because she had to leave work early because she was still sick.” My hands feel like lead weights at my side, and I shake them a little to try and increase circulation. “I don’t know what’s going on. Jinx mentioned Reagan did this when they lost their baby, and fuck. I’m freaking out.”