Fake Out (Fake Boyfriend 1) - Page 37
It’s not until Maddox catches up to me I even remember he’s here.
“Didn’t go well?” he asks.
“You could say that.”
Maddox grabs my arm to stop me from walking so fast. “What happened?”
“He signed with another agency.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? You didn’t want him.”
I shake my head and walk off again. Maddox doesn’t get it. He won’t ever understand it.
“Damon—”
I spin on my heel. “How is it fair? That kid has my future, and he’s half the pitcher I was. After my injury, I became kryptonite. No one wanted me. Even if I’d pushed hard and risked further injury to get back to where I was, all the agents had disappeared.” I don’t realize I’m yelling until I notice the people around us are staring.
“Come with me.” Maddox grabs my arm and pulls me down the path that runs behind the bleachers.
“Bet you spent a lot of time back here,” I grumble.
Maddox laughs. “I was a bleachers type of guy in high school. In college, I had class. Used to fuck behind the stacks in the library.”
“Much classier.”
Maddox pulls me down to the ground, and we sit with our backs against a concrete pillar. His arm is flush up against mine, and I like it way more than I should.
“Was this the first baseball scout you’ve done?” he asks.
I nod and stare into the distance.
“Okay, so that’s going to be hard no matter what. Now the first one is over, the next one will be easier.”
“I was fine until he told me he’s already got an agent when nothing here today showed me he was ready for it. Kinda lost my shit.”
Maddox laughs. “Just a bit, and can I just say, I’m liking this freaked-out Damon more than I should.”
“You what?”
“You always seem so together and in control. You have direction and drive. You’re like … a grownup.”
“Hate to break it to you, but so are you.”
“Nah, I float by on life and run away from my problems. I have a job I’m good at—and don’t get me wrong, I love it—but I had plans when I went off to college to travel and see the world once I was done. But I went straight into my job, and even though I have the funds, I haven’t done anything about going anywhere. I graduated almost a year ago now. It’s like I’m content to always think about what I want without acting on it. What made you decide to become an agent?”
“It was always my backup. I knew the chance of playing ball professionally was small, but I was so close. The first year of law school was the hardest, because I was still dealing with the fact I was never going to play again. Not at a competitive level. And then I was angry at everyone who abandoned me. My agent, the millions of offers from other places. I understand why they did it, but it made me want to be better than them. I wanted to become the agent those guys weren’t.” I haven’t told anyone about this shit. There’s something about Maddox that makes me lay it all out there.
“Since I met you, I’ve had this weird awe-slash-jealousy thing toward you,” he says. “Until now, the most I’ve seen you close to losing it was when I cornered you in my apartment and you fled like your ass was on fire. Even then, you were still in control of that whole situation. So, yeah, as mean as it is, I like seeing you ruffled. Makes you more human.”
“Don’t put me on a pedestal I don’t belong on, Maddy. I may act like I have my shit together, but I’m faking it. I think most adulting is faking it.”
Maddox grins.
“And I think you should just do it,” I say. “Plan a trip somewhere. Anywhere. Go to Niagara so you can say you’ve been to a different country, at least.”
“Canada doesn’t count, but you’re right. I should just do it. Maybe Stacy will come with me.”
I almost blurt out I’d go, but that’s not going to happen. I don’t have time to go away. Then there’s the long list of other reasons like being around Maddox drives me crazy, I want him, and it’s still a bad idea to be with him.
“As far as baseball goes,” Maddox says, “it sucks you can’t be the one on the other side of the contract. But look at it this way, when you find that ballplayer who’s great—who’s even better than you were—you’re going to do everything in your power to give that guy what you couldn’t have. His success will be your success, and you get to be by his side when he makes it big. It won’t be the same, but it’s the closest you’re going to get. And not everyone has that opportunity.”
Source: readsnovelonline.net